"How do you pronounce SunOS?" "Just like you hear it, with a big SOS" -- dedicated to Roland Kaltefleiter % finlandia:~> apropos win win: nothing appropriate. % C:\> WIN Bad command or filename C:\> LOSE Loading Microsoft Windows ... % Linux ext2fs has been stable for a long time, now it's time to break it -- Linuxkongreß '95 in Berlin % The state of some commercial Un*x is more unsecure than any Linux box without a root password... -- Bernd Eckenfels % Less is more or less more % Let's call it an accidental feature. -- Larry Wall % ......... Escape the 'Gates' of Hell `:::' ....... ...... ::: * `::. ::' ::: .:: .:.::. .:: .:: `::. :' ::: :: :: :: :: :: :::. ::: .::. .:: ::. `::::. .:' ::. ...:::.....................::' .::::.. -- William E. Roadcap % Win95 is not a virus; a virus does something. -- unknown source % Machine Always Crashes, If Not, The Operating System Hangs (MACINTOSH) -- Topic on #Linux % Except for Great Britain. According to ISO 9166 and Internet reality Great Britain's toplevel domain should be _gb_. Instead, Great Britain and Nortern Ireland (the United Kingdom) use the toplevel domain _uk_. They drive on the wrong side of the road, too. -- PERL book (or DNS and BIND book) % Save yourself from the 'Gates' of hell, use Linux." -- like that one. -- The_Kind @ LinuxNet % I did this 'cause Linux gives me a woody. It doesn't generate revenue. -- Dave '-ddt->` Taylor, announcing DOOM for Linux % Feel free to contact me (flames about my english and the useless of this driver will be redirected to /dev/null, oh no, it's full...). -- Michael Beck, describing the PC-speaker sound device % if (argc > 1 && strcmp(argv[1], "-advice") == 0) { printf("Don't Panic!\n"); exit(42); } -- Arnold Robbins in the LJ of February '95, describing RCS % lp1 on fire -- One of the more obfuscated kernel messages % A Linux machine! Because a 486 is a terrible thing to waste! -- Joe Sloan, jjs@wintermute.ucr.edu % Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. NO (or Linux) is the answer. -- Taken from a .signature from someone from the UK, source unknown % In most countries selling harmful things like drugs is punishable. Then howcome people can sell Microsoft software and go unpunished? -- Hasse Skrifvars, hasku@rost.abo.fi, % Windows without the X is like making love without a partner. -- MaDsen Wikholm, mwikholm@at8.abo.fi % Sex, Drugs & Linux Rules -- MaDsen Wikholm, mwikholm@at8.abo.fi % win-nt from the people who invented edlin. -- MaDsen Wikholm, mwikholm@at8.abo.fi % Apples have meant trouble since eden. -- MaDsen Wikholm, mwikholm@at8.abo.fi % Linux, the way to get rid of boot viruses -- MaDsen Wikholm, mwikholm@at8.abo.fi % Once upon a time there was a DOS user who saw Unix, and saw that it was good. After typing cp on his DOS machine at home, he downloaded GNU's Unix tools ported to DOS and installed them. He rm'd, cp'd, and mv'd happily for many days, and upon finding elvis, he vi'd and was happy. After a long day at work (on a Unix box) he came home, started editing a file, and couldn't figure out why he couldn't suspend vi (w/ ctrl-z) to do a compile. -- Erik Troan, ewt@tipper.oit.unc.edu % We are MicroSoft. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile. -- Attributed to B.G., Gill Bates % Avoid the Gates of Hell. Use Linux -- unknown source % Intel engineering seem to have misheard Intel marketing strategy. The phrase was "Divide and conquer" not "Divide and cock up" -- Alan Cox, iialan@www.linux.org.uk % Linux! Guerrilla UNIX Development Venimus, Vidimus, Dolavimus. -- Mark A. Horton KA4YBR, mah@ka4ybr.com % ----==-- _ / / \ ---==---(_)__ __ ____ __ / / /\ \ --==---/ / _ \/ // /\ \/ / / /_/\ \ \ -=====/_/_//_/\_,_/ /_/\_\ /______\ \ \ A proud member of TeamLinux \_________\/ -- CHaley (HAC), haley@unm.edu, ch008cth@pi.lanl.gov) % "Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?" Microsoft spel chekar vor sail, worgs grate!! -- Felix von Leitner, leitner@inf.fu-berlin.de % Personally, I think my choice in the mostest-superlative-computer wars has to be the HP-48 series of calculators. They'll run almost anything. And if they can't, while I'll just plug a Linux box into the serial port and load up the HP-48 VT-100 emulator. -- Jeff Dege, jdege@winternet.com % There are no threads in a.b.p.erotica, so there's no gain in using a threaded news reader. -- unknown source % /* * Oops. The kernel tried to access some bad page. We'll have to * terminate things with extreme prejudice. */ die_if_kernel("Oops", regs, error_code); -- From linux/arch/i386/mm/fault.c % Linux: because a PC is a terrible thing to waste -- ksh@cis.ufl.edu put this on Tshirts in '93 % Linux: the choice of a GNU generation -- ksh@cis.ufl.edu put this on Tshirts in '93 % There are two types of Linux developers - those who can spell, and those who can't. There is a constant pitched battle between the two. -- From one of the post-1.1.54 kernel update messages posted to c.o.l.a % > > Other than the fact Linux has a cool name, could someone explain why I > > should use Linux over BSD? > > No. That's it. The cool name, that is. We worked very hard on > creating a name that would appeal to the majority of people, and it > certainly paid off: thousands of people are using linux just to be able > to say "OS/2? Hah. I've got Linux. What a cool name". 386BSD made the > mistake of putting a lot of numbers and weird abbreviations into the > name, and is scaring away a lot of people just because it sounds too > technical. -- Linus Torvalds' follow-up to a question about Linux % > The day people think linux would be better served by somebody else (FSF > being the natural alternative), I'll "abdicate". I don't think that > it's something people have to worry about right now - I don't see it > happening in the near future. I enjoy doing linux, even though it does > mean some work, and I haven't gotten any complaints (some almost timid > reminders about a patch I have forgotten or ignored, but nothing > negative so far). > > Don't take the above to mean that I'll stop the day somebody complains: > I'm thick-skinned (Lasu, who is reading this over my shoulder commented > that "thick-HEADED is closer to the truth") enough to take some abuse. > If I weren't, I'd have stopped developing linux the day ast ridiculed me > on c.o.minix. What I mean is just that while linux has been my baby so > far, I don't want to stand in the way if people want to make something > better of it (*). > > Linus > > (*) Hey, maybe I could apply for a saint-hood from the Pope. Does > somebody know what his email-address is? I'm so nice it makes you puke. -- Taken from Linus's reply to someone worried about the future of Linux % > : Any porters out there should feel happier knowing that DEC is shipping > : me an AlphaPC that I intend to try getting linux running on: this will > : definitely help flush out some of the most flagrant unportable stuff. > : The Alpha is much more different from the i386 than the 68k stuff is, so > : it's likely to get most of the stuff fixed. > > It's posts like this that almost convince us non-believers that there > really is a god. -- Anthony Lovell, to Linus's remarks about porting % When you say "I wrote a program that crashed Windows", people just stare at you blankly and say "Hey, I got those with the system, *for free*". -- Linus Torvalds % We come to bury DOS, not to praise it. -- Paul Vojta, vojta@math.berkeley.edu % Be warned that typing \fBkillall \fIname\fP may not have the desired effect on non-Linux systems, especially when done by a privileged user. -- From the killall manual page % Note that if I can get you to "su and say" something just by asking, you have a very serious security problem on your system and you should look into it. -- Paul Vixie, vixie-cron 3.0.1 installation notes % How should I know if it works? That's what beta testers are for. I only coded it. -- Attributed to Linus Torvalds, somewhere in a posting % I develop for Linux for a living, I used to develop for DOS. Going from DOS to Linux is like trading a glider for an F117. -- Lawrence Foard, entropy@world.std.com % Absolutely nothing should be concluded from these figures except that no conclusion can be drawn from them. -- Joseph L. Brothers, Linux/PowerPC Project % If the future navigation system [for interactive networked services on the NII] looks like something from Microsoft, it will never work. -- Chairman of Walt Disney Television & Telecommunications % Problem solving under Linux has never been the circus that it is under AIX. -- Pete Ehlke in comp.unix.aix % I don't know why, but first C programs tend to look a lot worse than first programs in any other language (maybe except for fortran, but then I suspect all fortran programs look like `firsts') -- Olaf Kirch % On a normal ascii line, the only safe condition to detect is a 'BREAK' - everything else having been assigned functions by Gnu EMACS. -- Tarl Neustaedter % By golly, I'm beginning to think Linux really *is* the best thing since sliced bread. -- Vance Petree, Virginia Power % I'd crawl over an acre of 'Visual This++' and 'Integrated Development That' to get to gcc, Emacs, and gdb. Thank you. -- Vance Petree, Virginia Power % Oh, I've seen copies [of Linux Journal] around the terminal room at The Labs. -- Dennis Ritchie % If you want to travel around the world and be invited to speak at a lot of different places, just write a Unix operating system. -- Linus Torvalds % ...and scantily clad females, of course. Who cares if it's below zero outside. -- Linus Torvalds % ...you might as well skip the Xmas celebration completely, and instead sit in front of your linux computer playing with the all-new-and-improved linux kernel version. -- Linus Torvalds % Besides, I think Slackware sounds better than 'Microsoft,' don't you? -- Patrick Volkerding % All language designers are arrogant. Goes with the territory... -- Larry Wall % And the next time you consider complaining that running Lucid Emacs 19.05 via NFS from a remote Linux machine in Paraguay doesn't seem to get the background colors right, you'll know who to thank. -- Matt Welsh % Are [Linux users] lemmings collectively jumping off of the cliff of reliable, well-engineered commercial software? -- Matt Welsh % Even more amazing was the realization that God has Internet access. I wonder if He has a full newsfeed? -- Matt Welsh % I once witnessed a long-winded, month-long flamewar over the use of mice vs. trackballs... It was very silly. -- Matt Welsh % Linux poses a real challenge for those with a taste for late-night hacking (and/or conversations with God). -- Matt Welsh % What you end up with, after running an operating system concept through these many marketing coffee filters, is something not unlike plain hot water. -- Matt Welsh % ...Deep Hack Mode -- that mysterious and frightening state of consciousness where Mortal Users fear to tread. -- Matt Welsh % ...Unix, MS-DOS, and Windows NT (also known as the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly). -- Matt Welsh % ...very few phenomena can pull someone out of Deep Hack Mode, with two noted exceptions: being struck by lightning, or worse, your *computer* being struck by lightning. -- Matt Welsh % ..you could spend *all day* customizing the title bar. Believe me. I speak from experience. -- Matt Welsh % [In 'Doctor' mode], I spent a good ten minutes telling Emacs what I thought of it. (The response was, 'Perhaps you could try to be less abusive.') -- Matt Welsh % I would rather spend 10 hours reading someone else's source code than 10 minutes listening to Musak waiting for technical support which isn't. -- Dr. Greg Wettstein, Roger Maris Cancer Center % ...[Linux's] capacity to talk via any medium except smoke signals. -- Dr. Greg Wettstein, Roger Maris Cancer Center % Whip me. Beat me. Make me maintain AIX. -- Stephan Zielinski % Your job is being a professor and researcher: That's one hell of a good excuse for some of the brain-damages of minix. -- Linus Torvalds to Andrew Tanenbaum % I still maintain the point that designing a monolithic kernel in 1991 is a fundamental error. Be thankful you are not my student. You would not get a high grade for such a design :-) -- Andrew Tanenbaum to Linus Torvalds % We use Linux for all our mission-critical applications. Having the source code means that we are not held hostage by anyone's support department. -- Russell Nelson, President of Crynwr Software % Linux is obsolete -- Andrew Tanenbaum % Dijkstra probably hates me. -- Linus Torvalds, in kernel/sched.c % And 1.1.81 is officially BugFree(tm), so if you receive any bug-reports on it, you know they are just evil lies. -- Linus Torvalds % We are Pentium of Borg. Division is futile. You will be approximated. -- seen in someone's .signature % Linux: the operating system with a CLUE... Command Line User Environment. -- seen in a posting in comp.software.testing % quit When the quit statement is read, the bc processor is terminated, regardless of where the quit state- ment is found. For example, "if (0 == 1) quit" will cause bc to terminate. -- seen in the manpage for "bc". Note the "if" statement's logic % Sic transit discus mundi -- From the System Administrator's Guide, by Lars Wirzenius % Sigh. I like to think it's just the Linux people who want to be on the "leading edge" so bad they walk right off the precipice. -- Craig E. Groeschel % We all know Linux is great... it does infinite loops in 5 seconds. - Linus Torvalds about the superiority of Linux on the Amterdam Linux Symposium % Waving away a cloud of smoke, I look up, and am blinded by a bright, white light. It's God. No, not Richard Stallman, or Linus Torvalds, but God. In a booming voice, He says: "THIS IS A SIGN. USE LINUX, THE FREE UNIX SYSTEM FOR THE 386. -- Matt Welsh % The chat program is in public domain. This is not the GNU public license. If it breaks then you get to keep both pieces. -- Copyright notice for the chat program % 'Mounten' wird für drei Dinge benutzt: 'Aufsitzen' auf Pferde, 'einklinken' von Festplatten in Dateisysteme, und, nun, 'besteigen' beim Sex. -- Christa Keil % Manchmal stehe nachts auf und installier's mir einfach... -- H0arry @ IRC % 'Mounting' is used for three things: climbing on a horse, linking in a hard disk unit in data systems, and, well, mounting during sex. -- Christa Keil % We are using Linux daily to UP our productivity - so UP yours! -- Adapted from Pat Paulsen by Joe Sloan % But what can you do with it? -- ubiquitous cry from Linux-user partner % /* * [...] Note that 120 sec is defined in the protocol as the maximum * possible RTT. I guess we'll have to use something other than TCP * to talk to the University of Mars. * PAWS allows us longer timeouts and large windows, so once implemented * ftp to mars will work nicely. */ -- from /usr/src/linux/net/inet/tcp.c, concerning RTT [round trip time] % DOS: n., A small annoying boot virus that causes random spontaneous system crashes, usually just before saving a massive project. Easily cured by UNIX. See also MS-DOS, IBM-DOS, DR-DOS. -- David Vicker's .plan % MSDOS didn't get as bad as it is overnight -- it took over ten years of careful development. -- dmeggins@aix1.uottawa.ca % LILO, you've got me on my knees! -- David Black, dblack@pilot.njin.net, with apologies to Derek and the Dominos, and Werner Almsberger % I've run DOOM more in the last few days than I have the last few months. I just love debugging ;-) -- Linus Torvalds % Microsoft Corp., concerned by the growing popularity of the free 32-bit operating system for Intel systems, Linux, has employed a number of top programmers from the underground world of virus development. Bill Gates stated yesterday: "World domination, fast -- it's either us or Linus". Mr. Torvalds was unavailable for comment ... -- Robert Manners, rjm@swift.eng.ox.ac.uk, in comp.os.linux.setup % The only "intuitive" interface is the nipple. After that, it's all learned. -- Bruce Ediger, bediger@teal.csn.org, on X interfaces % After watching my newly-retired dad spend two weeks learning how to make a new folder, it became obvious that "intuitive" mostly means "what the writer or speaker of intuitive likes". -- Bruce Ediger, bediger@teal.csn.org, on X the intuitiveness of a Mac interface % Now I know someone out there is going to claim, "Well then, UNIX is intuitive, because you only need to learn 5000 commands, and then everything else follows from that! Har har har!" -- Andy Bates on "intuitive interfaces", slightly defending Macs % > No manual is ever necessary. May I politely interject here: BULLSHIT. That's the biggest Apple lie of all! -- Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of interfaces % How do I type "for i in *.dvi do xdvi $i done" in a GUI? -- Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of interfaces % >Ever heard of .cshrc? That's a city in Bosnia. Right? -- Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of commands % Who wants to remember that escape-x-alt-control-left shift-b puts you into super-edit-debug-compile mode? -- Discussion on the intuitiveness of commands, especially Emacs % Anyone who thinks UNIX is intuitive should be forced to write 5000 lines of code using nothing but vi or Emacs. AAAAACK! -- Discussion on the intuitiveness of commands, especially Emacs % Now, it we had this sort of thing: yield -a for yield to all traffic yield -t for yield to trucks yield -f for yield to people walking (yield foot) yield -d t* for yield on days starting with t ...you'd have a lot of dead people at intersections, and traffic jams you wouldn't believe... -- Discussion on the intuitiveness of commands % Actually, typing random strings in the Finder does the equivalent of filename completion. -- Discussion on file completion vs. the Mac Finder % Not me, guy. I read the Bash man page each day like a Jehovah's Witness reads the Bible. No wait, the Bash man page IS the bible. Excuse me... -- More on confusing aliases, taken from comp.os.linux.misc % On the Internet, no one knows you're using Windows NT -- Submitted by Ramiro Estrugo, restrugo@fateware.com % > I'm an idiot.. At least this [bug] took about 5 minutes to find.. Disquieting ... -- Gonzalo Tornaria in response to Linus Torvalds's % > I'm an idiot.. At least this [bug] took about 5 minutes to find.. We need to find some new terms to describe the rest of us mere mortals then. -- Craig Schlenter in response to Linus Torvalds's % > I'm an idiot.. At least this [bug] took about 5 minutes to find.. Surely, Linus is talking about the kind of idiocy that others aspire to :-). -- Bruce Perens in response to Linus Torvalds's % Never make any mistaeks. -- Anonymous, in a mail discussion about to a kernel bug report % +#if defined(__alpha__) && defined(CONFIG_PCI) + /* + * The meaning of life, the universe, and everything. Plus + * this makes the year come out right. + */ + year -= 42; +#endif -- From the patch for 1.3.2: (kernel/time.c), submitted by Marcus Meissner % As usual, this being a 1.3.x release, I haven't even compiled this kernel yet. So if it works, you should be doubly impressed. -- Linus Torvalds, announcing kernel 1.3.3 % People disagree with me. I just ignore them. -- Linus Torvalds, regarding the use of C++ for the Linux kernel % It's now the GNU Emacs of all terminal emulators. -- Linus Torvalds, regarding the fact that Linux started off as a terminal emulator % Audience: What will become of Linux when the Hurd is ready? Eric Youngdale: Err... is Richard Stallman here? -- From the Linux conference in spring '95, Berlin % Linux: The OS people choose without $200,000,000 of persuasion. -- Mike Coleman % The memory management on the PowerPC can be used to frighten small children. -- Linus Torvalds % ... faster BogoMIPS calculations (yes, it now boots 2 seconds faster than it used to: we're considering changing the name from "Linux" to "InstaBOOT" -- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.26 % ... of course, this probably only happens for tcsh which uses wait4(), which is why I never saw it. Serves people who use that abomination right 8^) -- Linus Torvalds, about a patch that fixes getrusage for 1.3.26 % It's a bird.. It's a plane.. No, it's KernelMan, faster than a speeding bullet, to your rescue. Doing new kernel versions in under 5 seconds flat.. -- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.27 % Eh, that's it, I guess. No 300 million dollar unveiling event for this kernel, I'm afraid, but you're still supposed to think of this as the "happening of the century" (at least until the next kernel comes along). -- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.27 % Oh, and this is another kernel in that great and venerable "BugFree(tm)" series of kernels. So be not afraid of bugs, but go out in the streets and deliver this message of joy to the masses. -- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.27 % When you say 'I wrote a program that crashed Windows', people just stare at you blankly and say 'Hey, I got those with the system, *for free*'. -- Linus Torvalds % Never trust an operating system you don't have sources for. ;-) -- Unknown source % > Linux is not user-friendly. It _is_ user-friendly. It is not ignorant-friendly and idiot-friendly. -- Seen somewhere on the net % Keep me informed on the behaviour of this kernel.. As the "BugFree(tm)" series didn't turn out too well, I'm starting a new series called the "ItWorksForMe(tm)" series, of which this new kernel is yet another shining example. -- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.29 % Seriously, the way I did this was by using a special /sbin/loader binary with debugging hooks that I made ("dd" is your friend: binary editors are for wimps). -- Linus Torvalds, in an article on a dnserver % (I tried to get some documentation out of Digital on this, but as far as I can tell even _they_ don't have it ;-) -- Linus Torvalds, in an article on a dnserver % Q: Why shouldn't I simply delete the stuff I never use, it's just taking up space? A: This question is in the category of Famous Last Words.. -- From the Frequently Unasked Questions % Q: What's the big deal about rm, I have been deleting stuff for years? And never lost anything.. oops! A: ... -- From the Frequently Unasked Questions % Linux is addictive, I'm hooked! -- MaDsen Wikholm's .sig % panic("Foooooooood fight!"); -- In the kernel source aha1542.c, after detecting a bad segment list % Convention organizer to Linus Torvalds: "You might like to come with us to some licensed[1] place, and have some pizza." Linus: "Oh, I did not know that you needed a license to eat pizza". [1] Licenced - refers in Australia to a restaurant which has government licence to sell liquor. -- Linus at a talk at the Melbourne University % Footnotes are for things you believe don't really belong in LDP manuals, but want to include anyway. -- Joel N. Weber II discussing the 'make' chapter of LPG % Eh, that's it, I guess. No 300 million dollar unveiling event for this kernel, I'm afraid, but you're still supposed to think of this as the "happening of the century" (at least until the next kernel comes along). Oh, and this is another kernel in that great and venerable "BugFree(tm)" series of kernels. So be not afraid of bugs, but go out in the streets and deliver this message of joy to the masses. -- Linus Torvalds, on releasing 1.3.27 % Ok, I'm just uploading the new version of the kernel, v1.3.33, also known as "the buggiest kernel ever". -- Linus Torvalds % Go not unto the Usenet for advice, for you will be told both yea and nay (and quite a few things that just have nothing at all to do with the question). -- seen in a .sig somewhere % Those who don't understand Linux are doomed to reinvent it, poorly. -- unidentified source % Look, I'm about to buy me a double barreled sawed off shotgun and show Linus what I think about backspace and delete not working. -- some anonymous .signature % I forgot to mention an important fact in the 1.3.67 announcement. In order to get a fully working kernel, you have to follow the steps below: - Walk around your computer widdershins 3 times, chanting "Linus is overworked, and he makes lousy patches, but we love him anyway". Get your spuouse to do this too for extra effect. Children are optional. - Apply the patch included in this mail - Call your system "Super-67", and don't forget to unapply the patch before you later applying the official 1.3.68 patch. - reboot -- Linus Torvalds, announcing another kernel patch % We apologize for the inconvenience, but we'd still like you to test out this kernel. -- Linus Torvalds, announcing another kernel patch % The new Linux anthem will be "He's an idiot, but he's ok", as performed by Monthy Python. You'd better start practicing. -- Linus Torvalds, announcing another kernel patch % How do you power off this machine? -- Linus, when upgrading linux.cs.helsinki.fi, and after using the machine for several months % Excusing bad programming is a shooting offence, no matter _what_ the circumstances. -- Linus Torvalds, to the linux-kernel list % Linus? Whose that? -- clueless newbie on #Linux % N: Phil Lewis E: beans@bucket.ualr.edu D: Promised to send money if I would put his name in the source tree. S: PO Box 371 S: North Little Rock, Arkansas 72115 S: US -- /usr/src/linux/CREDITS % > You know you are "there" when you are known by your first name, and > are recognized. > Lemmie see, there is Madonna, and Linus, and ..... help me out here! Bill ? ;-) -- From some postings on comp.os.linux.misc % Whoa...I did a 'zcat /vmlinuz > /dev/audio' and I think I heard God... -- mikecd on #Linux % Some people have told me they don't think a fat penguin really embodies the grace of Linux, which just tells me they have never seen a angry penguin charging at them in excess of 100mph. They'd be a lot more careful about what they say if they had. -- Linus Torvalds, announcing Linux v2.0 % MS-DOS, you can't live with it, you can live without it. -- from Lars Wirzenius' .sig % > If you don't need X then little VT-100 terminals are available for real > cheap. Should be able to find decent ones used for around $40 each. > For that price, they're a must for the kitchen, den, bathrooms, etc.. :) You're right. Can you explain this to my wife? -- Seen on c.o.l.development.system, on the subject of extra terminals % .. I used to get in more fights with SCO than I did my girlfriend, but now, thanks to Linux, she has more than happily accepted her place back at number one antagonist in my life.. -- Jason Stiefel, krypto@s30.nmex.com % I mean, well, if it were not for Linux I might be roaming the streets looking for drugs or prostitutes or something. Hannu and Linus have my highest admiration (apple polishing mode off). -- Phil Lewis, plewis@nyx.nyx.net % > What does ELF stand for (in respect to Linux?) ELF is the first rock group that Ronnie James Dio performed with back in the early 1970's. In constrast, a.out is a misspelling of the French word for the month of August. What the two have in common is beyond me, but Linux users seem to use the two words together. -- seen on c.o.l.misc % "Linux was made by foreign terrorists to take money from true US companies like Microsoft." - Some AOL'er. "To this end we dedicate ourselves..." -Don -- From the sig of "Don", don@cs.byu.edu % Shoot me again. Just proving that the quickest way to solve the problem is to post a whine to the newsgroups: within moments the solution presents itself to me, and meanwhile my ass is hanging out on the Net... *sigh*... -- Dave Phillips, dlphilp@bright.net, about problem solving via news % > Is there any hope for me? Am I just thick? Does anyone remember the > Rubiks Cube, it was easier! I found that the Rubiks cube and Linux are alike. Looks real confusing until you read the right book. :-) -- seen on c.o.l.misc, about the "Linux Learning Curve" % > I've hacked the Xaw3d library to give you a Win95 like interface and it > is named Xaw95. You can replace your Xaw3d library. Oh God, this is so disgusting! -- seen on c.o.l.development.apps, about the "Win95 look-alike" % Besides, its really not worthwhile to use more than two times your physical ram in swap (except in a select few situations). The performance of the system becomes so abysmal you'd rather heat pins under your toenails while reciting Windows95 source code and staring at porn flicks of Bob Dole than actually try to type something. -- seen on c.o.l.development.system, about the size of the swap space % > I get the following error messages at bootup, could anyone tell me > what they mean? > fcntl_setlk() called by process 51 (lpd) with broken flock() emulation They mean that you have not read the documentation when upgrading the kernel. -- seen on c.o.l.misc % Only wimps use tape backup: _real_ men just upload their important stuff on ftp, and let the rest of the world mirror it ;) -- Linus Torvalds, about his failing hard drive on linux.cs.helsinki.fi % One of the things that hamper Linux's climb to world domination is the shortage of bad Computer Role Playing Games, or CRaPGs. No operating system can be considered respectable without one. -- Brian O'Donnell, odonnllb@tcd.ie % The game, anoraks.2.0.0.tgz, will be available from sunsite until somebody responsible notices it and deletes it, and shortly from ftp.mee.tcd.ie/pub/Brian, though they don't know that yet. -- Brian O'Donnell, odonnllb@tcd.ie % 'Ooohh... "FreeBSD is faster over loopback, when compared to Linux over the wire". Film at 11.' -- Linus Torvalds % Q: Would you like to see the WINE list? A: What's on it, anything expensive? Q: No, just Solitaire and MineSweeper for now, but the WINE is free. -- Kevin M. Bealer, about the WINE % So in the future, one 'client' at a time or you'll be spending CPU time with lots of little 'child processes'. -- Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the private life of a Linux nerd % By the way, I can hardly feel sorry for you... All last night I had to listen to her tears, so great they were redirected to a stream. What? Of _course_ you didn't know. You and your little group no longer have any permissions around here. She changed her .lock files, too. -- Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the private life of a Linux nerd % We should start referring to processes which run in the background by their correct technical name... paenguins. -- Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the penguin Linux logo % We can use symlinks of course... syslogd would be a symlink to syslogp and ftpd and ircd would be linked to ftpp and ircp... and of course the point-to-point protocal paenguin. -- Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the penguin Linux logo % This is a logical analogy too... anyone who's been around, knows the world is run by paenguins. Always a paenguin behind the curtain, really getting things done. And paenguins in politics--who can deny it? -- Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the penguin Linux logo % Linux: Where Don't We Want To Go Today? -- Submitted by Pancrazio De Mauro, paraphrasing some well-known sales talk % The most important design issue... is the fact that Linux is supposed to be fun... -- Linus Torvalds at the First Dutch International Symposium on Linux % In short, at least give the penguin a fair viewing. If you still don't like it, that's ok: that's why I'm boss. I simply know better than you do. -- Linus "what, me arrogant?" Torvalds, on c.o.l.advocacy % what's the difference between chattr and chmod? SomeLamer: man chattr > 1; man chmod > 2; diff -u 1 2 | less -- Seen on #linux on irc % The linuX Files -- The Source is Out There. -- Sent in by Craig S. Bell, goat@aracnet.com % "... being a Linux user is sort of like living in a house inhabited by a large family of carpenters and architects. Every morning when you wake up, the house is a little different. Maybe there is a new turret, or some walls have moved. Or perhaps someone has temporarily removed the floor under your bed." - Unix for Dummies, 2nd Edition -- found in the .sig of Rob Riggs, rriggs@tesser.com % C is quirky, flawed, and an enormous success -- Dennis M. Ritchie % If Bill Gates is the Devil then Linus Torvalds must be the Messiah. -- Unknown source % Vini, vidi, Linux! -- Unknown source % Checking host system type... i586-unknown-linux configure: error: sorry, this is the gnu os, not linux -- Topic on #Linux % It's easy to get on the internet and forget you have a life -- Topic on #LinuxGER % To kick or not to kick... -- Somewhere on IRC, inspired by Shakespeare % Linux - Where do you want to fly today? -- Unknown source % The easiest way to get the root password is to become system admin. -- Unknown source % The good thing about standards is that there are so many to choose from. -- Andrew S. Tanenbaum % The primary difference [...] is that the Java programm will reliably and obviously crash, whereas the C Program will do something obscure -- Java Language Tutorial % LOAD "LINUX",8,1 -- Topic on #LinuxGER % Old MacLinus had a stack/l-i-n-u-x/and on this stack he had a trace/l-i-n-u-x with an Oops-Oops here and an Oops-Oops there here an Oops, there an Oops, everywhere an Oops-Oops. -- tjimenez@site.gmu.edu, linux.dev.kernel % Also another major deciding factor is availability of source code. It just gives everybody a warm fuzzy feeling knowing that there is source code available to the product you are using. It allows everybody to improve on the product and fix bugs etc. sooner that the author(s) would get the time/chance to. -- Atif Khan % > Also another major deciding factor is availability of source code. > It just gives everybody a warm fuzzy feeling knowing that there is > source code available to the product you are using. It allows everybody > to improve on the product and fix bugs etc. sooner that the author(s) > would get the time/chance to. I think this is one the really BIG reasons for the snowball/onslaught of Linux and the wealth of stuff available that gets enhanced faster than the real vendors can keep up. -- Norman % Not only Guinness - Linux is good for you, too. -- Banzai on IRC % > NE-2000 clone. Pentium optimizing gcc (pentium gcc pl8 I think). ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Build a kernel with the proper gcc. Reports with a non standard compiler are useless. -- Alan Cox % BTW: I have a better name for the software .... Microsoft Internet Exploder. -- George Bonser % Well, since MS cant be sure of the username of someone downloading things, they are going to play it safe and have everything dowloaded and executed by Explorer as suid root. That way, it will run on ANY system anywhere. :) -- George Bonser % If you really want pure ASCII, save it as text... or browse it with your favorite browser... -- Alexandre Maret % Sorry for mailing this article, I've obviously made a typo (168!=186) that's the price for being up all night and doing some "quick" checks before you go to bed .... -- Herbert Rosmanith % Just to remind everyone. Today, Sept 17, is Linux's 5th birthday. So happy birthday to all on the list. Thanks go out to Linus and all the other hard-working maintainers for 5 wonderful fast paced years! -- William E. Roadcap % Exporting beer from Finnland doesn't seem to be that much of a hassle, as the Lenigrad Cowboys brought a lot of their brew to the concerts in Austria. -- Otmar Lendl % Beeping is cute, if you are in the office ;) -- Alan Cox % > Where in the US is Linus? He was in the "Promise Land". -- David S. Miller % > Yeah, Linus is in the US. > > His source trees are in Finland. OK, someone give him access -fast- ...... ;-) -- babydr@nwrain.net, because of problems with the kernel % Subject: Linux box finds it hard to wake up in the morning I've heard of dogs being like their owners, but Linux boxen? -- Peter Hunter % Win 95 is simplified for the user: User: What does this configuration thing do? You: It allows you to modify you settings, for networking, hardware, protocols, ... User: Whoa! Layman's terms, please! You: It changes stuff. User: That's what I'm looking for! What can it change? You: This part change IP forwarding. It allows ... User: Simplify, simplify! What can it do for ME? You: Nothing, until you understand it. User: Well it makes me uncomfortable. It looks so technical; Get rid of it, I want a system *I* can understand. You: But... User: Hey, who's system is this anyway? You: (... rm this, rm that, rm /etc/* ...) "All done." -- Kevin M. Bealer % *** PUBLIC flooding detected from erikyyy THAT's an erik, pholx.... ;) -- Seen on #LinuxGER % I've no idea when Linus is going to release 2.0.24, but if he takes too long Im going to release a 2.0.24unoff and he can sound off all he likes. -- Alan Cox % All the existing 2.0.x kernels are to buggy for 2.1.x to be the main goal. -- Alan Cox % Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. -- Pablo Picasso % martin@bdsi.com (no longer valid - where are you now, Martin?) -- from /usr/src/linux/drivers/cdrom/mcd.c % [...] or some clown changed the chips on a board and not its name. (Don't laugh! Look at the SMC etherpower for that.) -- from /usr/src/linux/MAINTAINERS % REST: P: Linus Torvalds S: Buried alive in email -- from /usr/src/linux/MAINTAINERS % Why use Windows when you can have air conditioning? Why use Windows when you can leave through the door? -- Konrad Blum % Netscape is not a newsreader, and probably never shall be. -- Tom Christiansen % I think it's time to remove Qt and Qt-derived applications from the distributon. By distributing it, we only encourage authors to create restrictive licenses. -- Bruce Perens % If someone can point me to a good and _FREE_ backup software that keeps track of which files get stored on which tape, we can change to it. -- Mike Neuffer, admin of i-Connect Corp. % Whoa, first contact! [...] Welcome, from the people of Terra (Sol III). We extend our hands in friendship, and sincerely hope you shall do the same with your hand-equivelents. -- Jason Burrell about a russian posting % > Whoa, first contact! Nope, 'fraid not, Linux is still primarily used on planet Earth, I'm afraid. Our friend here sent a message in Russian (KOI8-R encoding). -- Aleksey Kliger, explaining a russian posting % There is, however, a strange, musty smell in the air that reminds me of something...hmm...yes...I've got it...there's a VMS nearby, or I'm a Blit. -- Larry Wall in Configure from the perl distribution % Das ganze Saarland ist von M$ besetzt - das ganze? Nein eine kleine Gruppe im Sudwesten trotzt dem ubergrosen Herrscher dank ihres Zaubertrankes Linux -- Tooster on #LinuxGER % 1648 files (84%) out of the files that I mirror disappeared. Since my delete threshold was set at 90%, all those files are now missing from my hard drive. It's going to take a loooong time to fetch those again via 14.4kbps! -- Brian C. White % Whoever asked if the debian organization was dead isn't reading debian-devel. 66 messages in one day, and it's not over. I find it difficult to keep up. -- Bruce Perens % > What is the status of Linux' Unicode implementation. Will Linux > be prepared for the first contact? We have full klingon console support just in case -- Alan Cox on linux-kernel % "You, sir, are nothing but a pathetically lame salesdroid! I fart in your general direction!" -- Randseed on #Linux % * Jes wonders why so many people in here uses fooZZZZZ and foo_sleeping nicks Jes: Because they are sleeping? -- Seen on #Linux % * gb notes that fdisk thinks his cdrom can store one terabyte -- Seen on #Linux % Check it out, send me comments, and dance joyously in the streets, -- Linus Torvalds announcing 2.0.27 % AP/STT. Helsinki, Dec 5th, 6:22 AM. For immediate release. In order to allay fears about the continuity of the Linux project, Linus Torvalds together with his manager Tove Monni have released "Linus v2.0", affectionately known as "Kernel Hacker - The Next Generation". Linux stock prices on Wall Street rose sharply after the announcement; as one well-known analyst who wishes to remain anonymous says - "It shows a long-term commitment, and while we expect a short-term decrease in productivity, we feel that this solidifies the development in the long run". Other analysts downplay the importance of the event, and claim that just about anybody could have done it. "I'm glad somebody finally told them about the birds and the bees" one sceptic comments cryptically. But even the skeptics agree that it is an interesting turn of events. Others bring up other issues with the new version - "I'm especially intrigued by the fact that the new version is female, and look forward to seeing what the impact of that will be on future development. Will "Red Hat Linux" change to "Pink Hat Linux", for example?" -- Linus Torvalds announcing that he became father of a girl % Sex dumps core (Sex is a Simple editor for X11) -- Seen on debian bugtracking % I tried the clone syscall on me, but it didn't work. -- Mike Neuffer trying to fix a serious time problem % - long f_ffree; /* free file nodes in fs */ + long f_ffree; /* freie Dateiknoten im Dateisystem */ -- Seen in a translation % * Phaedrus wishes he could get a machine that consists of Sparc IO, Alpha Processors and sleek design of an SGI And intel prices -- Seen on #Linux % damn my office is cold. need a hot secretary to warm it up. -- Seen on #Linux % This is a scsi driver, scraes the shit out of me, therefore I tapdanced and wrote a unix clone around it (C) by linus -- Somewhere in the kernel tree % * This is complicated. Has to do with interrupts. Thus, I am * scared witless. Therefore I refuse to write this function. :-P -- From the maclinux patch % Yes I have a Machintosh, please don't scream at me. -- Larry Blumette on linux-kernel % any new sendmail hole I have to fix before going on vacations? -- Seen on #Linux % AUTHOR FvwmAuto just appeared one day, nobody knows how. -- FvwmAuto(1x) % Fairlight: udp is the light margarine of tcp/ip transport protocols :) -- Seen on #Linux % i dont even know if it makes sense at all :) This is an experimental patch for an experimental kernel :)) -- Ingo Molnar on linux-kernel % Linux - Das System fuer schlaue Maedchen ;) -- banshee % If loving linux is wrong, I dont wanna be right. -- Topic for #LinuxGER % >>> FreeOS is an english-centric name Have you all been stuck in email, or have any of you tried *pronouncing* that? free-oh-ess? free-ows? fritos? :-) -- Mark Eichin % The documentation is in Japanese. Good luck. -- Rich $alz % People are going to scream bloody murder about that. -- Seen on linux-kernel % > 1. is qmail as secure as they say? Depends on what they were saying, but most likely yes. -- Seen on debian-devel % NEVER RESPOND TO CRITICAL PRESS. IT IS A GAME YOU CAN ONLY LOSE, AND IT MAKES US LOOK BAD. -- Bruce Perens % A feature is nothing more than a bug with seniority. -- Unknown source % Winnuke in one line? No problem: perl -MIO::Socket -e 'IO::Socket::INET->new(PeerAddr=>"bad.dude.com:139")->send("bye",MSG_OOB)' And formatted so it's a little easier to read: #!/usr/bin/perl use IO::Socket; IO::Socket::INET ->new(PeerAddr=>"bad.dude.com:139") ->send("bye", MSG_OOB); -- Randal Schwartz % (It is an old Debian tradition to leave at least twice a year ...) -- Sven Rudolph % When a trainstation is were a train stops what is a workstation? % Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. % "We don't do a new version to fix bugs." - Bill Gates "The new version - it's not there to fix bugs." - Bill Gates -- Retranslated from Focus 43/1995, pp. 206-212 % The POP3 server service depends on the SMTP server service, which failed to start because of the following error: The operation completed successfully. -- Windows NT Server v3.51 % Software is like sex; it's better when it's free. -- Linus Torvalds % vi is [[13~^[[15~^[[15~^[[19~^[[18~^ a muk[^[[29~^[[34~^[[26~^[[32~^ch better editor than this Emacs. I know I^[[14~'ll get flamed for this but the truth has to be said. ^[[D^[[D^[[D^[[D ^[[D^[^[[D^[[D^[[B^ exit ^X^C quit :x :wq dang it :w:w:w :x ^C^C^Z^D -- Jesper Lauridsen from alt.religion.emacs % oh okay. my mistake. Yafcot:atj(*), mark * Yet another fool coming over this: according to joey -- mark@mail.novare.net % Sorry. I just realized this sentance makes no sense :) -- Ian Main % Netscape is not a newsreader, and probably never shall be. -- Tom Christiansen % Stopping Apache webserver...sleeping...starting again...apache: dl-version.c:189: _dl_check_map_versions: Assertion `needed != ((void *)0)' failed noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo -- netgod on #Debian at LISC % Make it idiot-proof, and someone will breed a better idiot. -- Oliver Elphick % #Debian makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. :) -- HippieGuy on #Debian % I know. Unless htere is a cookie monster somewhere between us tat muches the amil. amil/mail muches/munches tat/that htere/there heheh problems? :) * Myxie needs an ircii addon that pipes teh command line through ispell :) -- Seen on #Debian % Uh... deity is a word, and diety isn't. Or is it supposed to be one of those recursive acronyms? Diety Is Excellent To You. Deity Eats Icecream That's Yellow. Diety Is Eloping To Yokohama. I'll stop now. -- Guy Maor % Why are there always boycotts? Shouldn't there be girlcotts too? -- argon on #Linux % Anyone want the new supermount? :) what's new aboutit klogd: It cleans whiter than white. :) -- Seen on #Linux % Und die Tastaturabrdücke auf Ihrer Wange unterstreichen seeeeeehr vorteilhaft ihr unterschütterliches Vertrauen in die moderene Technologie -- Agent Gully in "Die eXakten" % - DDD no longer requires the librx library. Consequently, librx errors can no more cause DDD to crash. -- DDD % snafu = Situation Normal All F%$*ed up % It's computer hardware, of course it's worth having -- Espy on #Debian % Alan E. Davis: Some files at llug.sep.bnl.gov/pub/debian/Incoming are stamped on 10 January 1998. As I write, nowhere on Earth is it now 10 January. Craig Sanders: That just proves how advanced debian is, doesn't it :-) -- debian-devel % Computers are like air conditioners. Both stop working, if you open windows. -- Adam Heath % I am NOT a kludge! I am a computer! -- tts % gorgo: *lol* joey: what's so funny? :) shh, joey is losing all sanity from lack of sleep 'yes joey, very funny' Humor him :> -- Seen on #Debian % * SynrG notes that the number of configuration questions to answer in sendmail is NON-TRIVIAL -- Seen on #Debian % My apologies if I sound angry. I feel like I'm talking to a void. -- Avery Pennarun % RIP is irrelevant. Spoofing is futile. Your routes will be aggregated. -- Alex Yuriev % After 14 non-maintainer releases, I'm the S-Lang non-maintainer. -- Ray Dassen % BREAKFAST.COM Halted... Cereal Port Not Responding. % * JHM wonders what Joey did to earn "I'd just like to say, for the record, that Joey rules." -- Seen on #Debian % Q: Why are Unix emulators like your right hand? A: They're just pussy substitutes! % Steal my cash, car and TV - but leave the computer! -- Soenke Lange % The only really good reason I can think to not release specs is embarrassment on just how crappy some hardware out there is, or just how buggy it is. -- Chris Wedgwood % > Alan Cox wrote: [..] No I didnt. Someone else wrote that. Please keep attributions straight. -- From linux-kernel % Do people like check the Debian website every 5 minutes to check it hasn't morphed into another one? Not that I'm one to talk, but some people seriously need to get a life -- james on #Debian % ... Linux und seine Programme sind damit so etwas wie ein real existierender Sozialismus der besseren Art ... -- Christian Seel in der Berliner Morgenpost v. 9.3.1997 % * james would be more impressed if netgod's magic powers could stop the splits in the first place... * netgod notes debian developers are notoriously hard to impress -- Seen on #Debian % * In anticipation of 2.10.02 release, updated to patchlevel +ircu2.10.01+.config6-7.config7-8.lgline3.iwho.limit.glibc.motdcache2.trace.whois1-2.config8-9.statsw.sprintf2-3.msgtree2.memleak1-2+.msgtree2-3.gline8-9.gline9-10.invite2.rbr.stats.numclients.whisper.whisper1-2.stats1-2.nokick1-2.chroot.config9-11.snomask7-8.limi+t1-3.userip1-3.userip3-4.config11-12.config12-13.umode2-3.akillsbt.who4-5.kn.kn1-2.freebsdcore2.msgtree3-5.y2k.glibc1-2.rmfunc.msgf+lags2.who5-6.nickchange2.glibc2-3.modeless3 -- From the annoucement of ircd 2.10.01-3 for Debian GNU/Linux % * Joey should not write changelog entries at 5:30am * DFSC Free cgi library What's that? DFSC? Debian Free Software mroooooCows -- Seen on #Debian % this guy _is_ crazy posix: from the looks of Enlightenment he's on LSD LSD is nothing compared to what this guy's on.. -- Seen on #Unix % On Netscape GPLing their browser: ``How can you trust a browser that ANYONE can hack? For the secure choice, choose Microsoft.'' -- in a comment on slashdot.org % Turn right here. No! NO! The OTHER right! % #define FALSE 0 /* This is the naked Truth */ #define TRUE 1 /* and this is the Light */ -- mailto.c % How do I bind a computer to an NIS server? Use a rope? -- Seen on #Debian % Try to remove the color-problem by restarting your computer several times. -- Microsoft-Internet Explorer README.TXT % Does biff in bo work coz it biffin doesn't beep an if biff in bo is broke then biff in bo I will delete I've tried biff in bo with 'y' I've tried biff in bo with '-y' no biffin output does it show so poor wee biff is gonna go. -- John Spence on debian-user % Real Men don't make backups. They upload it via ftp and let the world mirror it. -- Linus Torvalds % One tree to rule them all, One tree to find them, One tree to bring them all, and to itself bind them. -- Gavin Koch % As I currently don't have a floppy drive in my computer, I'd like to make an `emergency cdrom' ;) -- Eugene Crosser % The bug system is not a release-specific entity. Users of Debian 1.3.1 use the same bug tracking system as users of hamm. -- James Troup % Alan Cox wrote: >> On any procmail new enough not to be full of security holes you set >Brain on, Imeant majordomo of course 8) You got me worried there for a brief (very brief) moment :-). -- Stephen R. van den Berg (AKA BuGless) % seen jhm jhm is Sarek, and jhm is on the channel right now! * JHM wonders why dpkg remembers that particular nick. dpkg: Sarek? ermm, sure, and I am Khan -- Seen on #Debian % When you have 200 programmers trying to write code for one product, like Win95 or NT, what you get is a multipule personality program. By definition, the real problem is that these programs are psychotic by nature and make people crazy when they use them. -- Joan Brewer on alt.destroy.microsoft % Hah! we have 2 Johnie Ingrams in the channel :) Hey all btw :) % I just uploaded xtoolplaces-1.6. It fixes all bugs but one: It still coredumps instead of doing something useful. The upstream author's e-mail address bounces, Redhat doesn't provide it and I never used it. -- Sven Rudolph % > I thing you're missing the capability of Makefiles. It takes several _hours_ to do `make' a second time on my machine with the latest glibc sources (and no files are recompiled a second time). I think I'll remove `build' after changing one file if I want to recompile it. -- Juan Cespedes % aIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 MY LIGHT JUST DIED I AM SO SAD I'm blind! I'm blind! Light? Turn all your xterms to black-on-white :) Plenty of light that way. -- Seen on #Debian % | |-sshd---tcsh-+-dpkg-buildpacka---rules---sh---make---make---sh---make---sh---make---sh---make---sh---make---sh---make -- While packaging XFree86 for Debian GNU/Linux % /* * Please skip to the bottom of this file if you ate lunch recently * -- Alan */ -- from Linux kernel pre-2.1.91-1 % #if _FP_W_TYPE_SIZE < 64 #error "Only stud muffins allowed, schmuck." #endif -- linux/arch/sparc64/quad.c % #if _FP_W_TYPE_SIZE < 32 #error "Here's a nickle kid. Go buy yourself a real computer." #endif -- linux/arch/sparc64/double.h % eat Depends: cook | eat-out. But eat-out is non-free so that's out. And cook Recommends: clean-pans. -- Seen on #Debian % * Linux Viruscan..... Windows 95 found. Remove it? (Y/y) -- Unknown source % need help: my first packet to my provider gets lost :-( sel: dont send the first one, start with #2 * netgod is kidding % These download files are in Microsoft Word 6.0 format. After unzipping, these files can be viewed in any text editor, including all versions of Microsoft Word, WordPad, and Microsoft Word Viewer -- From Micro$oft % abuse me. I'm so lame I sent a bug report to debian-devel-changes -- Seen on #Debian % Ooh, mommy, mommy, what I have now doesn't work in this extremely unlikely circumstance, so I'll just throw it away and write something completely new. -- Linus Torvalds % #ifdef __SMP__ #error "Me no hablo Alpha SMP" #else #define irq_enter(cpu, irq) (++local_irq_count[cpu]) #define irq_exit(cpu, irq) (--local_irq_count[cpu]) #endif -- from kernel 2.1.90, arch/alpha/kernel/irc.c % Linus Torvalds: > This is the special easter release of linux, more mundanely called 1.3.84 Winfried Truemper: > Umh, oh. What do you mean by "special easter release"?. Will it quit > working today and rise on easter? % I never thought that I'd see the say where Netscape is free software and X11 is proprietary. We live in interesting times. -- Matt Kimball % Because I don't need to worry about finances I can ignore Microsoft and take over the (computing) world from the grassroots. -- Linus Torvalds % /* * Buddy system. Hairy. You really aren't expected to understand this * */ -- From /usr/src/linux/mm/page_alloc.cA % baz bat bamus batis bant. -- James Troup % Just go ahead and write your own multitasking multiuser os! Worked for me all the times. -- Linus Torvalds % I've seen people with new children before, they go from ultra happy to looking like something out of a zombie film in about a week. -- Alan Cox about Linus after his 2nd daughter % I expect that noone has objections. However, if I'd only add these entries to the list because `I think it's the right thing to do', I'd get a lot of flames afterwards :) -- Christian Schwarz % Various documentation updates and bugfixes (the best way to know that a stable kernel is approaching is to notice that somebody starts to spellcheck the kernel - it has so far never failed) -- Linus Torvalds in the annoucement for pre-2.1.99-3 % You will not censor me through bug terrorism. -- James Troup % Thinking is dangerous. It leads to ideas. -- Seen on #Debian % Are we going to make an Emacs out of apt? APT - Debian in a program. It even does your laundry -- Seen on #Debian % Do you mean to say that I can read mail with vi too? ;-) Didn't you know that? :r /var/spool/mail/jk -- debian-mentors % Charles Briscoe-Smith : After all, the gzip package is called `gzip', not `libz-bin'... James Troup : Uh, probably because the gzip binary doesn't come from the non-existent libz package or the existent zlib package. -- debian-bugs-dist % Debian is like Suse with yast turned off, just better. :) -- Goswin Brederlow % Arnold's Laws of Documentation: (1) If it should exist, it doesn't. (2) If it does exist, it's out of date. (3) Only documentation for useless programs transcends the first two laws. % The truth is not free. It's that simple. If you change the truth, it is no longer true - so the truth is not free! -- Jules Bean about freeness of documentation % Lemme make sure I'm not wasting time here... bcwhite will remove pkgs that havent been fixed that have outstanding bugs of severity "important". True or false? jim: "important" or higher. True. Then we're about to lose ftp.debian.org and dpkg :) * netgod will miss dpkg -- it was occasionally useful We still have rpm.... -- Seen on #Debian % * JHM wonders what Joey did to earn "I'd just like to say, for the record, that Joey rules." -- Seen on #Debian % The problem here (as someon else stated) is that when multiple dists use the same package format it only gives a "false sense of compatibility". -- Stephen Carpenter % *** Rince is wagner@schizo.DAINet.de (We have Joey, we have Fun, we have Linux on a Sun) -- Seen on #Debian % ... Linux und seine Programme sind damit so etwas wie ein real existierender Sozialismus der besseren Art... -- Christian Seel in der Berliner Morgenpost v. 9.3.1997 % The most effective has probably been Linux/8086 - that was a joke that got out of hand. So far out of hand in fact its almost approaching usability because other folks thought it worth doing - Alistair Riddoch especially. -- Alan Cox % The only other people who might benefit from Linux8086 would be owners of PDP/11's and other roomsized computers from the same era. -- Alan Cox % Ha. I say let them try -- even vi+perl couldn't match the power of an editor which is, after all, its own OS. ;-) -- Johnie Ingram on debian-devel, about linking vim with libperl.so % Being overloaded is the sign of a true Debian maintainer. -- JHM on #Debian % joey--very clever !!! joey--no wonder that Debian is a good distrib with coder like you -- Seen on #Debian (referring to my RAID article for the LJ) % There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't. -- Unknown source % Despite the best efforts of a quantum bigfoot drive (yes I know everyone told me they suck, now I know they were right) 2.1.109ac1 is now available -- Alan Cox announcing Linux 2.1.109ac1 % Turns out that grep returns error code 1 when there are no matches. I KNEW that. Why did it take me half an hour? -- Seen on #Debian % It's simply unbelievable how much energy and creativity people have invested into creating contradictory, bogus and stupid licenses... --- Sven Rudolph about licences in debian/non-free. % partycle: I seriously do need a vacation from this package. I actually had a DREAM about introducing a stupid new bug into xbase-preinst last night. That's a Bad Sign. -- Seen on #Debian shortly before the release of Debian 2.0 % i'm glad Debian finally got into polar-deep-freeze-we-arent-shitting-you state finally. -- Seen on #Debian shortly before the release of Debian 2.0 % Looks like the channel is back to normal :) You mean it's not scrolling faster than anyone can read? :) -- Seen on #Debian after the release of Debian 2.0 % Alex Buell: Or how about a Penguin logo painted in really really trippy colours, and emblazoned with the word LSD. :o) Geert Uytterhoeven: We already had that one, but unfortunately Russell King fixed that nasty palette bug in drivers/video/fbcon.c :-) -- linux-kernel % Writing non-free software is not an ethically legitimate activity, so if people who do this run into trouble, that's good! All businesses based on non-free software ought to fail, and the sooner the better. -- Richard Stallman % Außerdem noch [..] die Distribution für Puristen, denen technische Eleganz und Qualität und philosophisch reine Lehre der `freien Software' über totale Einfachheit geht (Debian) und viele mehr. -- Anselm Lingnau in de.comp.os.unix.discussion % Fehlermeldung von StarOffice: Das Dokument wurde fuer den Drucker Generic PostScript Printer formatiert. Der Drucker ist nicht vorhanden. Soll der Standarddrucker Generic PostScript Printer verwendet werden? Ob Programme schizophren werden koennen? -- Oliver Bedford % No, that's wrong too. Now there's a race condition between the rm and the mv. Hmm, I need more coffee. -- Guy Maor on Debian Bug#25228 % Perhaps the RBLing (Realtime Black Hole) of msn.com recently, which prevented a large amount of mail going out for about 4 days, has had a positive influence in Redmond. They did agree to work on their anti-relay capabilities at their POPs to get the RBL lifted. -- Bill Campbell on Smail3-users % Microsoft DNS service terminates abnormally when it recieves a response to a DNS query that was never made. Fix Information: Run your DNS service on a different platform. -- bugtraq % I am amazed that no-one's based a commercial distribution on Debian yet - it is by far the most solid UNIX-like OS I've ever installed, and I've played with HP/UX, Solaris, FreeBSD, BSDi, and SCO (not to mention OS/2, Novell, Win95/NT) -- Nathan E. Norman % http://www.novare.net/~eam/kaffe/ ^ And now we all learn how to write Ean's name and the URL is complete. Hah! I noticed that while I sent it, and I tried to hit ^g, but I was too slow. :-) -- debian-devel % Die TeX-Artikel [..] aber doch inzwischen wohl nicht mehr an den Fingern zweier Hände abzählbar (außer vielleicht von Informatikern, die bekanntlich mit den Fingern bis 1023 zählen können. -- Anselm Lingnau % And Bruce is effectively building BruceIX -- Alan Cox % I will be known as Ian Black, Ean can be Ian Red, Netgod Ian Blue, Che gets Ian Yellow, CQ is Ian Purple and Joey is Ian Indigo -- Some #Debian channel % When a float occurs on the same page as the start of a supertabular you can expect unexpected results. -- Documentation of supertabular.sty % From: Ean Schuessler The unrecognized minister of propaganda, E -- Debian, joking % * liw prefers not to have Linus run Debian, because then /me would have to run Red Hat, just to keep the power balance :) -- #Debian % <\\swing> and if we're playing old distributions... whatever happened to Yggdrasil? :) \\swing: everybody who tried to pronounce it got their tongue in a knot and choked -- #Debian % I'm telling you that the kernel is stable not because it's a kernel, but because I refuse to listen to arguments like this. -- Linus Torvalds % * dpkg ponders: 'C++' should have been called 'D' -- #Debian % The real value of KDE is that they inspired and push the development of GNOME :-) -- #Debian % * dpkg hands stu a huge glass of vbeer * Joey takes the beer from stu, you're too young ;) * Cylord takes the beer from Joey, you're too drunk. * Cylord gives the beer to muggles. -- #Debian, celebrating the 5th anniversary % Stupid nick highlighting Whenever someone starts with "stupid" it highlights the nick. Hmm. -- #Debian % And once Diziet/CQ make the formal announcment that LSA sucks, we can even reduce the Crisis Level rating and move on to linuxfoundation.org. -- #Debian % * LG loves czech girls. LG: do they have additional interesting "features" other girls don't have? ;) -- #Debian % The first is to ensure your partner understands that nature has root privileges - nature doesn't have to make sense. -- Telsa Gwynne % As to house maintenance, does it involve problem solfing? If so, your hacker can safely be left to deall with the panning (for the musement value, if nothering ese). -- Telsa Gwynne % Remember: While root can do most everything, there are certain privileges that only a partner can grant. -- Telsa Gwynne % Where is 'bavaria' proper? I thought it was austria. -- Gesehen auf #Linux % Day X+4 months: Microsoft ships NT 5.0 for Intel.with a big media event on TV. IBM begins to ship Debian 4.6 as the standard OS on all machines from mainframe to PC and announces the move on Slashdot. -- Christoph Lameter % How many chunks could checkchunk check if checkchunk could check chunks? -- Alan Cox % Q: How does a Unix guru have sex? A: unzip;strip;touch;finger;mount;fsck;more;yes;umount;sleep -- unknown source % Someone on IRC was very sad about the uptime of his machine wrapping from 497 days to 0. -- linux-kernel % netgod: 8:42pm is not late. doogie: its 2:42am in Joeyland -- #Debian % Everyone seems to hate that, but everyone also supports it. -- INN/frontends/inews.c % Debian's bug tracking looks very pro. -- Paul Vixie % ruud: Repeat after me: Netscape is a web browser. A web browser. Not a mailer. Not a newsreader. Not an HTML editor. -- #Debian % joey: i did not say anything. forget i existed. :) -- #Debian % Subject: Bug#42432: debian-policy: Proposal for CTV for Draft for Proof of Concept for Draft for Proposal for Proposal for CTV for a CTV to decide on a proposal for a CTV for the CTV on whether or not we shoud have a CTV on the /usr/doc to /usr/share/doc transition now, or later. -- Ed Lang % Something in the new lprng is funny bdale: Just one thing?! :) -- #Debian % In the computer industry, we have lies, damn lies, statistics, benchmarks, and delivery dates. % Damn weekend. Mailboxen are empty :( -- #Linux % "These download files are in Microsoft Word 6.0 format. After unzipping, these files can be viewed in any text editor, including all versions of Microsoft Word, WordPad, and Microsoft Word Viewer." [Microsoft website] % I'm not trying to give users what they want, I'm trying to give them freedom, which they can then accept or reject. If people don't want freedom, they may be out of luck with me, but I won't allow them to define for me what is right, what is worth spending my life for. -- Richard Stallman % We need to get our penguins in a row instead of wandering around at random like gas molecules. -- Chris Lawrence % I am interested in the samosa machines. Could you please send more information regarding these machines, including the prices. -- Sent to debian-admin % I can't believe i just cut my tongue trimming my beard. -- #Linux % If MacOS is for the computer illiterate, then Windoze is for the computer masochists. % * bdale thinks life is too short to run proprietary software... -- #Debian % *** Raf (rafael@gallium.icp.inpg.fr) has joined channel #debian-devel Raf, I'm currently finishing the list you requested. Args, you're the wrong Raphael. Joey: I guessed you've mistaken... [..] Joey: debconf is fantastic. Who is your boss at VA? Raf: Wrong Joey :-))) -- #Debian % * Joey wonders if people believe he's the evil maniac * Joey seems to disagree with lots of developers. Joey: It keeps Debian interesting :-) -- #Debian % -e 's/^hardcode_libdir_flag_spec.*$/hardcode_libdir_flag_spec=" -D__LIBTOOL_IS_A_FOOL__ "/' \ -- Source of gtop % Joey: If its yours, I promise not to scream, because you cleaned it up and made it better, with no lost mail :) -- #Debian after a lists failure % > How many of these editor things does Debian need? :)) Two, of course. vi because it's the one true editor, and Emacs to keep the heretics quiet. -- Craig Sanders % Morons, I'm surrounded by morons. -- Joel 'Espy' Klecker % Anyone considering voting for me, don't, because none of you moronic pieces of shit are worthy of my leadership. -- Joel Klecker % History is written by those who have hanged heroes. -- Randall Wallace % Do not get stuck in the old-time UNIX (and BSD and Debian) mentality of "it's supposed to be hard, because that's what makes you a man". -- Linus Torvalds Is your name not foo? No, it's Bruce. Hmm. Mind if we call you foo to keep it clear? -- Robert Thomson % woooooooooop! working networking on my tosh... do dah day. -- #Debian % He was bitching that gnapster spit stuff out to stdout, I asked him if it was reproducible in the latest version, he told me to read the diff or check for myself :) -- bma on #Debian about Joey % Oh shit, I started a screen inside a screen. -- Marcelo Magallon % At my previous place of employment, I introduced "binary-only non-free crap" as a standard phrase. The words could not be used alone. :-) -- Richard Braakman % Fight until you die and drop A force like ours is hard to stop Close your mind to stress and pain, Fight 'till you're no longer sane Let not one damn cur pass by, How many of them can we make see the light and convert to DFSG free licenses? -- Lars Wirzenius % Bah, he names his box after himself... lame :) And Joey gives boxes names he can't pronounce ;) -- #Debian % The /etc/Muttrc in the mutt package makes a fruit salad of mutt. -- Wouter Hanegraaff % If you don't belive me, by all means give me a user account on your system, and then run dhelp as root, and watch /etc/passwd go bye-bye. -- Joey Hess % James, I think it would be a good idea to disable the autobuilder while saens is traveling. -- Debian Administration % FRAME: [1]logo FRAME: [2]header FRAME: [3]links FRAME: [4]text FRAME: [5]logo FRAME: [6]header FRAME: [7]links FRAME: [8]text -- www.postleitzahl.de % tmpname(3): Never use this function. Use mkstemp(3) instead. mkstemp(3): Don't use this function, use tmpfile(3) instead. tmpfile(3): < thank goodness it doesn't say to use tmpname instead! > -- Joey Hess % Craig flames Manoj That is not going to be good for his health -- #Debian % * Overfiend feels a little better now that he has flamed -- #Debian % "MY GOD!! LOOK!! THAT CAN OF SPAM!!! IT HAS.....TEETH!" -- Overfiend on #Debian % Unfortunately, when I configure the host for more than about 2000 ip aliases, the machine starts to bog down. At about 3000 aliases, the system spends about 50 percent of the time in the kernel. -- linux-kernel % Another thing to be proud of: ten years ago Tanenbaum invented Minix, a little operating system good for teaching purposes. Many followers wanted to add things. "But the Minix code already was 250 pages, and I wanted to keep things simple for those poor students. Then Linus Torvalds designed Linux on the base of Minix. He is having quite some success with it." -- de Volkskrant, 2000-03-18 % "Where did you learn such language!" "From debian-devel, daddy" -- Brian Almeida % *** vincent has changed the topic on channel #debian to Welcome on #debian * vincent curses at xchat * doogie larts vincent -- #Debian % MandrakeSoft Buys Bochs, LGPLs It" Holy shit That's great! Quick! package it! What is it? Never mind, Package faster! -- #Debian % [bcollins@auric(2:07pm)-~]%du -sk /scratch/* 6752992 /scratch/aj 3077624 /scratch/dan heh, when people use scratch space...they use a lot -- #Debian % This SPAM COMPLAINT thread might actually be entertaining if we had some Japanese developers flaming each other in English on it. -- Branden Robinson on #Debian % I've tried to install this linux crap about nearly five times, but everytime it stops with the error message: "login:" Fix that immediately or I'll go public with that. -- some mailing list % * Joey has hot news... Joey: oh? Very hot. Our government sucks. Joey: euh, that's hardly news -- #Debian % D.E.B.I.A.N.: Digital Electronic Being Intended for Assassination and Nullification -- www.brunching.com % Why do you need to call? I'm perfectly content cowering behind my sandbags right here in the channel. -- Branden Robinson % of: Can I phone you now? Diziet: Gack!!! Diziet: I don't want to die! You won't die! -- #Debian % * joeyh tries to figure out why lesbians@hotsex.com is subscribed to bay area Debian -- #Debian % Contrary to popular belief, Unix is user friendly. It just happens to be very selective about who it decides to make friends with. % * Culus gives espy a cookie Remember kids, don't feed the trolls * Espy never accepts cookies from strangers, and Culus is quite strange :) -- #Debian % Every Gnome app is a good app. :) Joey: No, please not you too (-: * Myth kills Joey -- #Debian % tooltips/logically labeled buttons are for weenies -- #Debian % * Tv thinks someone at Netscape Communications thinks web surfing is bad for you, and makes the browser crash regularly. -- #Debian % Great, sign me up for whatever self-serving position you have. -- Ben Collins % Yes. I am strongly in agreement. Every time that script runs ./configure for me, I think "you worthless piece of shit, why are you doing that." -- G. Jungman % What's that flame war all about? I appreciate people who fiddle with unstable releases, they make them stable, whereas the people fiddling with stable releases hopefully make them more stable. -- Clemens Sebastian Fischer % Confused by the versioning yet. This is my current tree versus Linus' 2.3.99pre4-2. Have fun and bug me not Linus with problems. -- Alan Cox % CR: ignoring for the moment that a) Theo has a clue, and b) he has nothing to do with FreeBSD -- #debian % Those who refuse to understand UNIX are doomed to reinvent it, poorly. % Documentation is like sex. If it is good, it's very very good. If it is bad it's better than nothing. % My personal opinion is that you can't beat rolling over after sex and discussing the how to deal with the latest bug you're working on. -- Kirrily Robert % The FAQ says 5 was the classic codebase, which they dropped, so they skipped the version number, too. Espy about Netscape 6 % sed 's+|+\\\\+g;s|\\\\ *\\\\|\\\\|g;s|\\\\ *\\\\|\\\\|g;s/$/\\bigskip/;s/\([_&$]\)/\\\1/g'\ u-liste > unterschriften.tex -- Oliver Zendel % Your computer system clock is incorrectly set to the right time, date and time zone. from Userfriendly % People still run stuff on dos 1.0 Its still dead :P -- #Debian % Chief information officer? What's that mean? :) Head FUD spreader Also known as chief PR droid -- #Debian % I would have preferred to get a message about my mail not reaching its true destination, now I spent several weeks thinking I sent the mail and pondering why isn't the guy answering. -- Josip Rodin % doogie: it's a longshot, but I'm hoping that logic may persuade Xu [logic] [persuade] [Xu] Parse error durring tokenization. Redo from start. -- #Debian % I used to like devfs, before Linus forced out the compatability stuff, Gooch's namespace disgusts me. -- Joel Klecker % Weeks are the same thing as months. That is the secret behind the Debian release schedule. -- Richard Braakman, Debian Release Manager % * rmt notes epic4 has a bug (I assume) since it lets you write lines longer than the IRC server will accept... and of course it fails silently.. really sucks for jokes.. People ask "Where's the punch line?" :P -- Robert M. Thomson % Culus: you mean it's almost at what it's worth? Besides, worth is very nebulous when applied to stock -- #Debian % How do I cd to a dir called "~"? gnome-napster has decided to dump my mp3s there oh, escape it. -- #Debian % Sleep is for the people who must get up early tomorrow. *** Signoff: woot (and I am one of them.) -- #Debian % According to the latest figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless. % * stu kicks freebsd stu: why are you running freebsd? uberfunk: because it's fast and cool Aww damn, i'll have to reboot to linux to play games -- #Debian % If I get anything to work at all, others who know more but have been frustrated will get re-energized. -- Bdale Garbee % Telnet is not really C++, it's more like C on crack -- #Debian % tausq: I do PHP stuff at work...what's the scoop? Overfiend: read my advogato diary :P tausq: okay. No need to :P. :-P -- #Debian % Coool! Spammers use Debian too!! I think this clearly indicates that we are far and away the best distribution. -- Jason Gunthorpe % Oh shit, Xu's got relatives in Debian! From: Min Xu * Joy ph33rz -- #Debian % Can we remove dselect from the dpkg sources? please? pretty please? :) -- PA-RISC port having C++ problems % [leguin] % sudo nmap -p 80 -sS -O -o snova.log 62.232.6.55 Starting nmap V. 2.12 by Fyodor (fyodor@dhp.com, www.insecure.org/nmap/) My god! You seem to have WAY to many routes! QUITTING! Uuh? Who broke nmap -- #Debian % I don't know where you bought your dictionary, but I would ask for a refund. -- Alan Cox % Can someone please investigate if some of those maintainers, whose names sounds more and more familar to me after reading them every week in the release-critical bug list were secretly hired by RedHat, SuSE or more likely Microsoft to slow down our release cycles? -- Christian Hammers % My god! djb must be everyhere Culus: huh? He just appeared on the exim list -- #Debian % You're a regular Jay Leno, aren't you? A real comedian. Someone uses your resources to SPAM others, and you say, in effect, "Hey, we only make the gun, we can't help it if a criminal uses it to kill somebody." For shame. Irresponsible. -- About Debian being used to send SPAM % JHM: how's dark's finnish nowadays? I guess he's learning. Haven't spoken with him on IRC since he moved. He sent me a copy of Hamlet, the restored Klingon version, so I'll have to flex my language muscles :-) -- #Debian % Joey: you filed a bug with "Wishlist: severity" instead of "Severity: wishlist"! :)) -- #Debian % Debian keeps it clean. -- With regards to commercializm % Debian - The Spirit of Linux -- Hartmut Koptein % Microsoft is sort of a mixture between the Borg and the Ferengi. Combine the Borg marketing with Ferengi networking... - Andre Beck % Ian thinks the BTS should use sauce. Film at 11 (joeyh) He hasn't contacted owner@b.d.o. Film canceled (gecko) Ian isn't part of the cabal, after all. (doogie) -- Debian... % Oh, postfix can mail you transcripts of smtp sessions that violate the protocol. * joeyh thinks he's in love. -- Debian % Espy: IWJ's idea of perl code scares me. s/perl // (actually most people's idea of perl code scares me) Okay, iwj's idea of code in general then => -- #Debian % * Knghtbrd still couldn't believe iwj didn't want him to patch dselect Good gods, I couldn't have done worse! -- #Debian % Dselect needs exactly one patch, a big one, a unified diff with a large number of lines matching ^- :) -- #Debian % shoot upstream [..] shoot upstream I say again * Joey admires Espy for his good ideas -- #Debian % * Joey whispers "what a sucker that doesn't create mbox archives" shoot upstream I say again -- #Debian % perl -ne 'BEGIN { open (OUT, ">mbox") } chomp; if (/^(\d+):/) { $f=$1; $f="0$f" if length $f < 2 } elsif (/; .*?(<.*>)/) { $from=$1; open (IN, $f) || die "$f: $!"; print OUT "From $from Fri Jan 28 04:49:29 2000\n"; while () { print OUT $_ } }' index charming -- #Debian % * Espy gives mailman 4 espies Espy: No. Not 4, maybe 2.5 no, taking this case, adding that to the binary databases, its annoying subscription reminders, and over-reliance on web interface, that's definitely 4 :P -- #Debian % Non-pickled python persistent objects, try saying that three times fast -- #Debian % What do you mean, it's not packaged in Debian? -- #Debian % I have lost my soul, there is 4 photos of me on the net now thanks to an over active professor with a digital camera. I guess this means I can attend trade shows too, blast. -- Jason Gunthorpe % Since I have been forced into no longer providing this donation, I intend to actually no longer provide it... -- Ean Schuessler % A couple of documents in doc-linux-html are included multiple times in different versions: [..] I think here it should be sufficient to include only the most recent one. -- Gregor Hofleit % An NT server can be run by an idiot, and usually is. -- Tom Holub, a.h.b % You can also connect the line using backslash. \ Yes, UNIX tradition. -- MagicPoint % Culus: your clock is way wrong Date: Wed, 1 Sep 1999 13:46:46 -0600 (MDT) hardly that is when it was sent Culus: so why isn't this setup already? because nobody set it up -- #Debian % We should start up a Debian stock market using bugs as currency. -- Jason Gunthorpe % ...we love a good conspiracy theory as much as the next person... -- secure@microsoft.com % I have decided to release the first 24GB of my genetic code under the Artistic License. since this is DFSG compatible, could it go in main? -- Jakob Kuntz % Heh, ITP: Constitution of Finland Joy: RUN AWAY -- #Debian % Newton's Law of Gravitation: What goes up must come down. But don't expect it to come down where you can find it. Murphy's Law applies to Newton's. % I am interested in the samosa machines. Could you please send more information regarding these machines, including the prices. Do you have a machine that mixes, sheets and cuts the samosa pastry, but does not fill and glue. -- Sent to debian-admin % - straight GPL when used with ghostsript - CUPS license otherwise But the CUPS license is just the GPL! Silly. -- #Debian % Q: How do I ? A: You do not. And if you really had to do it, you would know. -- Unix FAQ % <_Anarchy_> telsa: rommable Debian will be potato chips -- #Linux % The problem with the GNU coding standards is they ASSUME that everyone in the world uses Emacs. If that were the case, free software would die because we would all have wrist problems like RMS by now and no longer be able to code. ;> -- Joseph Carter % GNU := GNU's not UNIX % Just curious, DJB created qmail to replace sendmail, Wietse created postfix, why when DJB created dnscache to replace BIND then Wietse didn't create for example WIND (Wietse Internet Name Domain) or WietseCache for example ? -- Irwan Hadi % Just what the world needs. Debian provides yet another free, alternative, open-source, Linux based operating system. These things seem to breed like flies don't they? Did I mention it was free? -- http://www.splorp.com/critique/ % Rejected: Unknown distribution `froxen'. -- dinstall mail % Joey, your Perl scares me, but your self morphing 'objects' make me want to build a blanket fort in my living room and live out the rest of my years there. -- Jason Gunthorpe % // Minor lesson: don't fuck about with something you // don't fully understand -- the dosdoom source code % * Culus kills Omnic, all of Omnics friends, their friends and 500 random people who live near Omnic just to ward off others from liking Perl. -- #Debian % I want to know where i can find or buy Red Hat m68k for my Mac 68k -- From debian-m68k % Argh, why did my mouse become invisible? Got a cat? -- #Debian % kinder eggs have those orange or blue capsules inside Forget about the chocolate and the toy, fill the capsule with baking soda and vinegar, shake it, and chuck it in the air =) (preferably in the direction of someone you don't like =) -- #Debian % Bwa ha ha ha, the blackholing bigots have ended up blackholing EACH OTHER. -- Branden Robinson % Fabrizio: What would be the purpose of "freezing" the bible? Branden: Because that way it is more effective as a tool for smacking the heathen over the head. -- debian-devel % I'm just answering some mails regarding you and your fucking IRC op games. -- Josip Rodin % Perhaps Debian is concerned more about technical excellence rather than ease of use by breaking software. In the former we may excel. In the latter we have to concede the field to Microsoft. Guess where I want to go today? -- Manoj Srivastava % *** Espy is now known as Espy_on_crack Espy... Isn't that redundant? -- #Debian % Excuse me, but what about that quote makes it illegal for a license to license the software that it licenses for distribution? -- Raul Miller % \|||/ (o o) |~~~~ooO~~(_)~~~~~~~| | Please | | don't feed the | | TROLL's ! | '~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Ooo~~' |__|__| || || ooO Ooo -- Paul Seelig % I can read the bloody *manual* as if it were some sort of religious tract describing forms of enlightenment you can achieve after 10 years on a mountain :) -- lilo % UNIX := UNIX Not Is XENIX % I was installed in the archive yesterday. -- Roland Bauerschmidt % Linux := Linux Is Not UniX % INTERCAL := Compiler Language With No Pronounceable Acronym % > * Added pussy(1) manpage (closes: Bug#62931) man pussy, eh? Good to see Debian's breaking ground as a homoerotic Linux distribution. -- Branden Robinson % Oh my, it's a UP P III. Dos it. * joeyh runs dselect That ought to be sufficient :) -- #Debian % Overfiend: you're so subtle. How do you do it? part: years of training and practice -- #Debian % Of course, you could elegantly resign from the project and start a lawn mowing business. -- Peter Crystal % Joey noticed that yesterday and mentioned it to Manoj, and got ripped to pieces for it :( -- James Troup % * Added pussy(1) manpage (closes: Bug#62931) -- Joey in sendfile changelog % I propose to expell Martin Schulze, because he is proposing to expell fellow developers for minor reasons. -- Marcus Brinkmann % ... but if we all throw each other out, only the Cabal (which, of course, doesn't even exist) will be left to run Debian as they please... -- Nils Lohner % Did you read the end of the mail before flaming me a second time? -- Julian Gilbey % I lied. -- Jason Gunthorpe % * Culus watches the thread [..] spiral out of control as IWJ drives a tanker truck of Gasoline into the building. -- #Debian % Bug#62981: Emacs abort()s when I click mouse button 6 or 7 in it. -- Debian Bug Tracking % Virtual beer is money :) The term was introduced to the Linux world when the Oxford Beer Trolls sent me a cheque for converting into cash for converting into beer I give to Linus. % So, this is what an IRCop is like when on drugs. -- OpenProjects, while splitting. % dh_testdir still looks better than test -f debian/rules Easier to skip :) -- #Debian % gcc -O2 -Dump -Larry -Wall -c fnord.c -- #Debian.DE % 8 lines, eh? I'm a more compact programmer than I thought. :-) -- Joey Hess % Nono, this would be a real alien define `real alien' james, wiggy, and culus are 'real aliens' -- #Debian % stu: you're my hero! -- #Debian % * aj would love to see how much bandwidth is used for pr0n 45% for pr0n, 45% for mp3, the rest for mirroring Debian :) -- #Debian % Here's the script I used this time for reference. perl -ne '$i=`dpkg --info $_`; $s=$1 if $i=~m/ Section: (.*)/; $p=$1 if $i=~m/ Priority: (.*)/; $pkg=$1 if m:.*/(.*?)_:; print "$pkg\t$s\t$p\n"; $pkg=$p=$s=""' -- Joey Hess % You gambled and lost. -- Richard Braakman % Q: Why did they deprecate a.out support in linux? A: Because a nasty coff is bad for your elf. % I live. I hunger. Wait, I just ate. -- #Debian % Even though I once ported Midnight Commander for NT, I now think, that giving OpenSource support for an OS that is commercial is nonsense. -- Juan Grigera % I suspect Linus wrote that in a complicated way only to be able to to have that comment in there. -- Lars Wirzenius % /* Fuck me gently with a chainsaw... */ -- David S. Miller in /usr/src/linux/arch/sparc/kernel/ptrace.c % Just a quick heads up that I haven't had access to a computer for two days (and yes, my hands _are_ shaking) -- Linus Torvalds while moving % Installing Linux is easy. Getting it to truly sing takes artistry. -- Graham Hine, Tuxtops % Somehow I'm skeptical, but hey, I get spammed every 48 hours to buy toner and I don't even own a printer. Sure would be nice if it would stop ;) -- Slashdot % Has anyone seen james? I think I saw him around here somewhere... not sure where he's gone though. -- #Debian % Perl is worse than Python because people wanted it worse. -- Larry Wall, 14 Oct 1998 % Debian has the only potato which if you stick it with a fork may generate zombies % The FreeBSD people just managed to make even less of my removable devices work, so they are losing my support very quickly now. -- Wietse Venema % Debian - even Hell freezes faster % The freaking DOOR SECURITY GUARD is coming up to the 6th floor to ask us linux quesitons. Strange days.... -- #Debian % Linux. The dot in /. % Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet. -- Markus Stumpf % [..] that is often FUBAR, and SNAFUs people's inetd.conf entries. -- Josip Rodin % Roland> I was installed in the archive yesterday. Torsten> Cool! Does that mean you are now mirrored worldwide? ;-)) % A genuine potato-powered web server. That's potato as in vegetable, not debian distro. -- Slashdot % Well, Federico Di Gregorio just offered to design and to print money, [..] -- Alexander Reelsen % Heh... is this information or propaganda? :) -- About the Press Team % The problem is that Exchange is slightly braindead (surprise!) [..] -- Rachel Blackman % Helix are pissed off... someone at GNOME announced release 1.2 to /. before their mirrors were synched Now everyone's banging on the master and none of the mirrors are gonna synch for ages =) % A simple VB-script was installed more often and faster than Linux during the last decade. -- Resume about the ILOVEYOU worm % It is an ongoing joke, potato will be ready once all the parts in it are obsolete ;) -- #Debian % When in doubt, use brute force. -- Ken Thompson (author of unix) % Argh.. duh. Thanks for being gentle with the clue-stick Alan. -- Chris Evans % overfiend apologizing? what is the world coming to? -- #Debian % anyway, I have 4 bugs to report in the SPARC boot-floppies * james_work wonders when #Debian became an alias for submit@b.d.o -- #Debian % We've made our voices heard. The times in which manufacturers of proprietary software alone determine the direction are past. -- Martin Schulze, spokesman for LinuxTag % The Few, The Proud, The Geeks -- /. % Open Source is "about being able to work together with people you've never met, on projects that are in a constant state of flux, on a time schedule that would cause a hummingbird's head to spin." -- Paul Ferris % [lotsa doc bugs] Just guessing: you've been experimenting with vbox today? ;-) -- Paul Slootman % I agree, going from Red Hat to Debian is definitely an upgrade. -- Eric Gillespie % Microsoft: Where do you want to go today? Linux: Where do you want to go tomorrow? BSD: Are you guys coming, or what? % eek The linuxppc user guide has information how to patch the firmware of the machine -- #Gnome % I think we should work at supporting a bigger variety of non-free software, which means getting it off our plate and onto the plates of others. -- Raul Miller % Linux development kernels have so much rope for a stupid user to hang themselves with [..] -- Lars Marowsky-Brée % We had to run Debian kernels on RedHat boxes as a result of this. -- David Luyer (about vendor-patched kernels) % One of our mail spools sits on software RAID on a box unfortunate enough to have been built when we were innocent enough to put RedHat on servers. -- David Luyer (about vendor-patched kernels) % If my oracle database lives on a software RAID, I cannot even update to 2.2.16 with some distributions. -- Hubert Mantel % If your oracle database lives on a software RAID, you're in the wrong business. -- Henning Schmiedehausen % Many people are better off spending another $100 on a faster hard drive than learning to use patch. -- Hans Reiser % Hans, what goes in the kernel has to be done purely on technical grounds. -- Alan Cox to Hans Reiser % Get ext3 versus Reiserfs out of your head for god sake. If anything is aiming at the same space its XFS. -- Alan Cox to Hans Reiser % This is just a RedHat bureaucratic excuse to delay reiserfs. -- Hans Reiser % Hans, Red Hat has _zero_ control in what I work on with Reiserfs. You know that so stop treating this list as if it is slashdot. -- Alan Cox to Hans Reiser % Duh? Hans check your medication hasn't run out. -- Alan Cox to Hans Reiser % There is no way to summarize 1000 messages -- #Debian % Even NASA has succumbed to the "e + (someword)" phenomenon. -- /. % Sleep is a poor substitute for caffeine. % If it compiles, ship it. -- inofficial Microsoft Quality Assurance % We DONT want Linux on every desktop. We want Free Software on every desktop. -- #Gnome % The signal to troll ratio in here is getting pathetic. -- #Gnome % *boc* *boc* *boc*, *boc* *boc* *boc*, *boc* *boc* *bocaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!* -- #Gnome % I will not be silenced by legal threats from a meta-organization that doesn't even exist as a legal entity. -- Joseph 'Knghtbrd' Carter % In mathematics, the "and" operator is commutative -- Marcus Brinkmann % In a world of NDA-bound business agreements, Debian is an open book. -- Evan Leibovitch % In a world of mission statements, Debian has a Social Contract. -- Evan Leibovitch % At a time when commercial distributors are striving to see how much proprietary software they can pack into a box of Linux, Debian remains the bastion of software freedom. -- Evan Leibovitch %$ What if this one guy who lives in tibet has a computer with a 300 baud modem and a broken gcc, and can't recompile his 7 year old binaries due to a severe dandruff problem? -- Frank Belew % Fix your broken mail server you arrogant twit. -- Hans Reiser % Well, we officially announce the birth of a new Debian Cabal: the Bordeaux Cabal. -- Thierry Laronde % To me, [...] is a job, a product to be completed on a schedule. Debian is part of a lifestyle--or at least the subset of my lifestyle that involves computers. -- Zygo Blaxell % The Klingon approach to rpm vs dpkg: By your implied comparison between debian and redhat, you have challenged my family's honor! PREPARE TO DIE! -- Jim Lynch % There was a fat-finger error in that code. -- Eric S. Raymond % Why do you think we call things a "package"? Hint: It's not because we're charging London aliens an import duty. -- John Goerzen % Don't forget that MS-Windows is just a work-around until you can switch to a GNU system. % StarOffice is currently a monolithic suite that takes longer to launch than it takes Microsoft to release a security patch. -- Nicholas Petreley % The debate about forking apache to handle requests is one thing, but hell, why not just boot your own OS for each request! -- Slashdot % Atlantic Fleet officials said the ship was dead in the water for about 2 hours and 45 minutes. -- USS Yorktown - Adrift due to NT errors % In and out like a pair of teens -- darkewolf % Joey: you've spent so long in the CABAL that you have lost your ability to communicate with plebes -- #Debian % m2 moved the wnpp into the BTS bastard -- #Debian % james: Where are you from then? Culus: Why would I tell you that? Then you could actually make jokes that might offend me :-P -- #Debian % Jason> It's disk has failed and it is currently downish. Rob> down_ish_??? Is that like, "sort of pregnant" ? % insmod vi.o and there we go... -- Alexander Viro on linux-kernel % You know, for things with Moo in the name you'd expect a whole lot more cows Frankly - I'm disappointed -- #Debian % There are more ways to break Postfix than there are ways to make it work. -- Wietse Venema % There are also sexy lies, which by nature have long legs. % Hmmms Why do i have a Kangeroo skull in the bathroom? -- #Debian % I suggest you read up on unix coding practices. -- Wichert Akkerman % Joey, you're hard core -- Adam di Carlo % Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha. Sorry, this was just too beautiful to pass up. Bwa ha ha ha ha ha. -- Overfiend regarding Helix % aj: Well, your idea can't even express a non-us, main, security archive :P Culus: we don't *have* a non-US main security archive aj: irrelevent detail :P -- #Debian % apt: doogie? * apt does the doogie woogie dance * doogie larts apt -- #Debian % Joey: Anyone ever told you you have too much time on your hands? -- #Debian % It might be worth noting that Claymore mines are marked "this side towards enemy" on the side that should be, uhm, towards the enemy. -- Terje Bless on bugtraq % It gets a little muddier in a practical perspective, but here it boils down to "how bad do you want it". -- Terje Bless on bugtraq % You are a victim of your own success. -- Terje Bless on bugtraq % hat jemand erfahrung mit x4 + nvidia treiber? your're too sexy for my shirt? - your're to new for my kernel? -- #Debian.DE % What Happens When Patents Meet Antipatents? -- Slashdot % Because it sucks, is insecure and is buggy as hell. Looks like three good reasons, to me. -- Marco d'Itri % When we have trouble I just put on the headphones, stare at some impenetrable XFree86 source code and go into a trance until it's over. -- Branden Robinson % cmr: Okay.. so uh.. someone I've never heard of has given you root on our boxes, which, till now, I didn't know we had :> -- #Debian % What in the hell is libgc5 ? Garbage collectoin library wiggy: ??!?!? for C? Omnic: yes, why not? * Omnic runs away screaming -- #Debian % Yeah. Maybe we fixed truncate, and maybe we didn't. I've thought that we fixed it now several times, and I was always wrong. Time for some reverse phychology. -- Linus Torvalds % Because I'm a bastard, and proud of it! -- Linus Torvalds % Are you _seriously_ expecting that non-programmers start using kernel debuggers to send in good bug-reports? Grow up, get a clue, and smell the roses. -- Linus Torvalds % Grow up, get a clue, and smell the roses. -- Linus Torvalds % You don't backpedal nearly as well as you bitch. -- Branden Robinson % Yep. I installed Suse-6.4 on my laptop. Since I needed APM to work, I recompiled the kernel source that they supplied. First, I just did `make oldconfig` so I could duplicate the existing kernel. Well. No such luck. There was no way in hell I could duplicate the kernel that they supplied, with the sources that they supplied. And there was no secret 'patch' directory either... -- Richard B. Johnson % Debian continues to remind me of Xanadu -- good vision, sketchy implementation. -- 'itp' the helix Red Carpet Wanker % I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere. % This device has completely bogus header. Compaq scores again :-| It's a host bridge, but it should be called ghost bridge instead ;^) -- Martin `MJ' Mares on linux-kernel % Do you still need the Alpha? [masq box] I can ping it but don't know where it is. -- Peter de Schrijver, Oldenburg-Meeting 2000 % I don't need a microphone to hear myself moo. -- Wichert Akkerman % BTW: Does anyone still use archie? I just installed it after years of non usage and i guess i have problems finding an archie server :) -- Florian Lohoff % If you are too low a lifeform to be able to learn how to use the manual page subsystem, why should we help you? -- Theo de Raadt % BenC: knghtbrd is too busy bitching about GNOME to maintain his packages -- #Debian % If so, I second his nomination. As a member of the Free Software Foundation, he's uniquely qualified as a bureaucrat. -- Branden Robinson % Excel looks so ugly in comparission of the beautiful Gnumeric spreadsheet! -- Miguel de Icaza % Well, it's usually me walking into the office, with my heart set on finishing up a specific task I've wanted to get done for weeks, and ends up with me having to help an engineer through some design issue that I think will only take a few minutes, but ends up taking all day. -- Arlo Rose, Eazel % Who stole the links to the translations on the Developer's Corner page? -- Peter Karlsson % Programming is like sex; one mistake and you have to support for a life time. % Nonsense. Why let silly things like "facts" get in the way of one's "pragmatism"? -- Branden Robinson % Time to get your MCSE, Christoph? -- Branden Robinson % Prof. Lameter is approved to teach Advanced NT yeah, Unix OS technologies and comparative religions err. operating systems... -- Christoph Lameter % Blessed dst-change. I woke up and it was 12:45 pm, came downstairs and it was am again. Very good. -- Joey Hess % Oh, I've seen copies [of Linux Journal] around the terminal room at The Labs. -- Dennis Ritchie % Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it's out of date.) -- Stafford Beer % Vim is the Emacs among vi's. -- Richard Braakman % Linux includes an improved version of vi, called vim. Apparently the improvement is limited to the length of the name. -- Unknown Unix tutorial % You should try building some of the stuff in main that is modern... Turning on -Wall is like turning on the pain. -- James Troup % Therefore, as soon as a company mentions Linux in a positive way, regardless of how insignificant, the slashdot.org crowd throws a virtual equivalent of Mardi Gras. -- Bil Gates % Is Joy a slimmed down younger version of Joey? -- #Debian % Needless to say there is nothing useful there anyway, but finally I have an actual real sane use for a WAP phone. They are great for debugging PPP configurations. -- Alan Cox % We're still waiting for the Vatican to officially canonize this kernel, but trust me, that's only a matter of time. It's a little known fact, but the Pope likes penguins too. -- Linus Torvalds % And when I don't know of a bug, it doesn't exist. -- Linus Torvalds % Find a Corel developer that knows what gpg is... ;) -- Joseph Carter % while (<>) { s{
.+}{
}mg; } or whatever. If it's a one-time hack, don't spend too much time. If it's permanent, don't do anything that sucky. -- #Debian % You perl suckily, but on the other hand, your perl also sucks. -- #Debian % 3039 Nov 27 Ian Eure ( 14) massive memory leaks in X 3042 NS Nov 28 Branden Robinso ( 36) >Massive clue leaks in Debian % You know, Overfiend looks like a girl in his progeny.com picture (http://www.progeny.com/people). Whats frightening is that he looks better than most women you see in the computing industry. -- Ean R. Schuessler % Microsoft has been doing a really bad job on their OS. -- Linus Torvalds % It takes more time to read Perl code than it does to write it. -- Rahul Jain % As cool as black light might be, it doesn't really help you to *see* things... -- Marcelo E. Magallon % This discussion cannot screw up my code freeze and release plan. -- Wietse Venema % @touch /etc/passwd 2>/dev/null || echo Be root you fool. WHAT THE FUCK Thats a makefile rule to determine if you are root during install -- #Debian % A program is either DFSG-free or it is not, a simple boolean test. -- Craig Sanders % trueprint_5.1-4_i386.changes SKIP (too new) [..] blindman: ignore the "SKIP (too new)", just pretend it says "REJECT" -- #Debian % Will it just fall over and die on non-i386 machines? That pisses me off. Other arches need love too. -- #Debian % Where does elmo live? [ ] a. Garbage can. [ ] b. openprojects.net. -- Marcus Brinkmann % But as long as Debian users continue to have children, it will have a market :) -- Ben Armstrong about Debian Jr. % Mails in German I generally read with the special mutt 'D'eutschland key. -- Jens Axboe % Here is my favorite from Exchange Client: "Cannot delete this message - not enough disk space." -- Alla Bezroutchko in asr % wish bot sent in a link to a ZD Net story that talks about how Linux distributions are too big. Many valid points... of course IMHO my distribution is exactly the right size, and I apt-get all the bloat if I want it, later. -- Slashdot % Warning, Overfiend alert! Duck everyone! -- #Debian % /* I can't stand it anymore! Please can't we just write the whole Unix system in lisp or something? */ -- bash-2.02/unwind_prot.c % Not even the mighty force of Debian can change the location of /dev/log. -- Ben Collins % Hold the conference in France: you can drink alcohol publicly, even near a school, you can piss on the street, you can argue with cops, you can teach Darwin's theory of evolution and you can have sex in public places. -- Stephane Bortzmeyer % Linux kernel 2.4 got itself at the 4th position in Wired Vaporware 2000 contest! -- Slashdot % It's a low volume list, and you've already posted more in the last 24 hours than everyone else did this month. -- Michael Stone % so what :) * Robot101 larts Joey -- #Debian % Ok, so I'm behind on email, but this is giving me cold sweats. -- Joey Hess % Welcome to our special issue on violence in the workplace, I mean system administration. -- Don Marti, Linux Journal 12/2000 % Removals are just waiting for James to stop being a party animal and write some more stuff for katie. -- Anthony Towns % I'm getting too geekish in my old age... I used to have a life, but I traded it for a Debian box :) -- Christopher Waters % Good judgement comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgement. -- Jim Horning % Quite frankly, anybody who uses RedHat 7.0 and their broken compiler for _anything_ is going to have trouble. -- Linus Torvalds % We have full klingon console support just in case -- Alan Cox on linux-kernel % WML is the Unix toolkit for getting your webdesigner's HTML job done. -- WML slogen % When I get sent anywhere it's to some pathetic excuse for a village in the middle of nowhere in Scotland :/ -- James Troup % Oh dear.. THE arm ego-disease has infected cmr -- James Troup % Why is this guy having a conversation with himself on -devel? It's very annoying. -- James Troup % Linus uses pine? Don't tell Overfiend. -- #Debian % And it will apparently take some time for the ftp servers to sync up: when I moved the test-kernels away from the main v2.4 directory I didn't think act that the mirror scripts will spend quite a bit of time just synchronizing everything (the fact that _I_ did it with a simple "mv" on the master copies doesn't mean that the mirror services will be able to do it ;) -- Linux Torvalds % Heh, Linus needs pools ;-) -- Joey Hess % Don't use setuid with X -- Wichert Akkerman % Infelicities in the protocol underlying NFS can cause the unexpected disappearance of files which are still being used. -- unlink(2) % > Security problem report... > > [root@irongate linux.ac]# RESOLV_HOST_CONF=/etc/shadow ping debian.org > ^^^^^^^^ Remind me not to answer email when asleep. -- Alan Cox % Great, the company's complaining that they're about to go out of business due to an unrelenting DoS attack and you guys put a link to their site on Slashdot's homepage. -- Slashdot % What the FUCK? He obtained ROOT access to the ISPs servers and they couldnt stop him? People - this is fighting the wrong battle. Any Joe Random cracker should NOT be able to obtain ROOT access to ANY server at ANY ISP. Period. -- Slashdot % Face it. IRC is the universal home of Those Who Have No Hope Of Ever Having Sex. -- Slashdot % Why is this kernel called 2.4.0? I thought unstable kernels had odd-numbered minor versions.. -- #Debian % * Since debian still relies on /etc/pam.d/ssh instead of moving to /etc/pam.d/ssh, I had to hack ssh.h to get ssh to use this name. -- OpenSSH NMU % Don't find excuses to ignore bad "features". -- ps(1) % # Note that the code is (almost) tail-recursive. # I wish I could write this in Scheme ;) *sigh*, when you see that in a shell script, it is time to HEAD FOR THE HILLS -- Joey Hess % * shaleh finds a dark alley near where dark works and waits for him * shaleh is going insane fixing lintian -- #Debian % Damn. I should be more careful. I just started downloading anime into my 2.4.0 source directory. Because of things like this, my homedir is a hell of a mess. -- #Debian % ME TOO! (I always wanted to say that :-) ) -- Ray Dassen % Note that I'm using a non-standard man location (www.debian.org is running FreeBSD :-( ). -- Ray Dassen (1996) % I think common sense dictates that something called "cron.daily" is a cron script, don't you? -- James Troup % Someone let me know when Wiggy actually tests a version of dpkg before uploading it. -- Branden Robinson % We don't have a "Law of Joey" [..] -- Marcus Brinkmann % There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. % Knghtbrd: and just because bugs are a year old, that doesn't mean they aren't fixed :> I tend to use the BTS more as a guide than a religion -- #Debian % Don't forget to check the autoslack package in the unsupported dir: it means the imminent death of all the "Slack lacks apt-get" arguments. -- Slashdot % Hey, this just isn't right. I'm meant to be nagging you, not the other way around. -- Anthony Towns, Release Manager % It has recently come to my attention that several developers are using debconf as an excuse to write a quick hack rather than doing things right. -- Joey Hess % In Debian, capitalism has no place, as there is no currency, and we don't exchange anything. -- Marcus Brinkmann % No, actually, I do mind, I'm sick and tired of being blamed for doogie's mini-Bruce. -- James Troup % I never knew this list was for a specific distro? You're right; it's named "debian-user" for no apparent reason whatsoever. -- Seen on debian-user % I'm puzzled! I agree to Craig Sanders. -- Joey % Every minute and every dollar spent on Plex86 is a win for the free software community and Debian. -- Marcus Brinkmann % Shock! Horror! Are you seriously saying that you think it is acceptable for Debian developers to be unable to program? -- Joey Hess % Programming did not fall under the requirements of a maintainer, last time I checked. -- Christian Hammers % joeyh: Joey is interested in shoop. How should we scare him? -- doogie on #Debian % And the gratuitous use of urgency award goes to... lilo! lilo (1:21.6-9) unstable; urgency=HIGH . * Fix the priority and section of lilo-doc. -- James Troup % Working in Perl is such a relief after 6 hours of UML. -- Manoj Srivastava % Emacs, not just a way of life but a complete waste of disk space. -- Alan Cox % Perl is total crack! It kills braincells. -- Franklin Belaw % Please. Thanks for catching up on all of these. -- Daniel Jacobowitz about Joey % Face it. Joey is completely untrustworthy and you shouldn't believe anything he says. -- James Treacy % bod: Chicks and money can not exist together. It's like matter/anti-matter Put them together, and you'll soon end up with neither. -- #Deban % I can't believe this! No, actually I can believe it -- this is Debian after all. -- Joseph Carter % Joey, I always respond too seriously to questions like that; You always tend to do it with just hte right amount of sarcasm. -- Nils Lohner % If the maintainer does not know C/C++, then they really have no business packaging a C/C++ program. -- Manoj Srivastava % The last time I posted that, the DPL told us all to fuck off and resigned. -- Manoj Srivastava % There are always bugs and always Evil Geniuses(TM) who find them and script kiddies who use them. Such is the way of the net, now and forever. -- Arto Jantunen % Who do I have to contact if I want richsalzoids in the next release of quake? -- Olaf Kirch % what does Demonishi mean anyway? :) Joy: female Overfiend :) Joey: HAHAHA Joey: ROTFL -- #Debian % A small flood of security announcements from Debian came in last night and this morning to the LWN.net offices. -- LWN.net: After Joey worked on Debian Security % Please, save yourself the trouble and don't use Debian. -- Noah Meyerhans % joey, doogie: You're crazy. I love that. -- #Debian % We also have a sometimes working majordomo interface. -- Anand Kumria % I think that you have a large capacity for optimism. -- Theo de Raadt about Joey % A lot of you are getting angry because you are jealous of our security record. -- Theo de Raadt % An uniformed life is not worth living. -- Brian Russo % Tarred, feathered, hung, drawn and quartered would be the logical progression of the task in question. =) -- Robert McQueen % A lot of you are getting angry because you are jealous of our security record. And I bet it makes you even angry to hear it said. -- Theo de Raadt % I am sick and tired of your chatty project filled full of chatty flaming closed mailing list assholes. -- Theo de Raadt about Debian % The following package won't be removed because I'm craven and fear IWJ's wrath. -- James Troup % Bad move. 2.4.1 is incredibly broken and unstable. Stay at 2.4.0 for testing. -- Alan Cox % Anybody who blindly uses exploit code deserves what they get. -- Brett Eldridge % Yup. Its kinda cute. -- Elias Levy about a bind exploit trojan % char const *slash = "/" + (len == 0 || temp_dir[len - 1] == '/'); -- textutils/src/sort.c % No, there is OpenSSH and there is OpenSSH. They are not the same. -- Wichert Akkerman % 3.1.0.0 Oct 99 3.2.0.0 Aug 00 3.2.1.1 Jan 01 3.5.0.0 Jan 28 Hmm Wir haben eine Policy aus der Zukunft -- #Debian.DE % mstone: Ok. Let's just agree to disagree, ok? I've had too many flamewars today. -- #Debian % Debian needs to "hire" administrative assistants so the quality geek time is not wasted. -- Paul Wade % Oh shit. Overfiend: Whatever you do, don't close your ssh session -- #Debian % That explanation sucks big rocks through a needle. -- Christian Kurz % Aieee, I'm maintaining a package written by aliens. -- Richard Braakman % Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. -- Janis Joplin % IWJ has a lot of faults, but writing crap English is NOT one of them. -- James Troup % * Tv thwaps joeyh with the changelog cluebat. * Gar! Closes: #84219 -- #Debian % $ echo "la|ber" | sed 's/\|/\|/g' |l|a|||b|e|r| Hä? -- #Debian.DE % A mathematician is a machine for converting coffee into theorems. -- Paul Erdös % As a general rule: When scary things get scared, big trouble! -- Sanders in Buffy the Vampire Slayer % Joey: shut up and go back to your coffin. The slayers are near. Joey: erm. sorry. too much Buffy last night. -- #Debian % I agree that SQL is about as exciting as a rotting turnip. -- Roy Smith in comp.lang.python % *sigh* You'd think a distribution composed of 6000 packages distributed across 13 different architectures (in various stages between pre-alpha and release quality), maintained by 700 amateurs with often conflicting goals who're globally distributed and have rarely met each other -- you'd think a distribution like that would be simpler... -- Anthony Towns, Debian Release Manager % Yes, very useful. Pretty please with a cherry on top, implement this... -- James Troup % the rasterman virus has taken joey.. lots of typos the sign of raster -- #Debian % I can't accept that "people truly deserve to be insulted". -- Santiago Vila % Anything in Debian main can be used for anti-social behavior, thank goodness. -- Evan Prodromou % What's interesting to think about is that what Americans normally call "Free Speech" is not DFSG-free at all. YOUR freedom to speak or write does not give me any freedom to take your words and republish them for profit. I especially cannot modify those words to better fit my own needs. -- Evan Prodromou % I have an idea: dupload can make you play moon-buggy, and not let you upload unless you score > 700. -- Moshe Zadka on a Bugsquash Party % The idiocy of arguing about the idiocy of that article cannot be described. -- Frank Belaw % * liiwi kicks MIME::Parser liiwi: Watch it... Perl modules tend to kick back -- #Debian % + it's DEADJOE, not DEAD_JOEY -- Wichert Akkerman in dpkg/debian/changelog % Do you know what happens to pandora every time someone puts a billion megabytes of upgrades on it!? Leiden is going to boot us :P -- #Debian % This is the second time reportbug's been mentioned: once by you and once by Joey Hess. If it's so functional, why isn't submit@b.d.o being deprecated for it? -- John Galt % Some days you get the Tiger, other days the Tiger gets you. -- Marty Pitts % You caused me grief and pain! Yeah, well, you paid me back, trust me. I'm the current "security officer" for Progeny So you kept me hopping today :-P -- #Debian % This is government Government rarely makes sense -- #Debian % We need a daily message to debian-devel-changes stating "starting mirror pulse" ... and another for "finished mirror pulse" -- #Debian % E: Sub-process /usr/bin/dpkg recieved a segmentation fault. -- #Debian % Tie a rubber rabbit on a string -- hours of fun for your dog! :-) -- #Debian % I saw "updates" but somehow my brain read "testing". -- Erik Andersen % I think that is going to be happening already. Several of Alan's change lists in the 2.2.19preX gave credit to both Chris Evans and Solar Designer. ANY time those names show up in the credits it is usually a security related thing... -- Stephen John Smoogen % Hmmm, outlook viri have never affected me..... -- Theodore Tso % Oh, are you implying that Microsoft Lookout! users have some purpose other than serving as objects of ridicule by Linux users? Sorry, didn't realize that. :-) -- Theodore Tso % I may not be able to count, but at least I can spell. -- Rob Mahurin % Maciej Stachowiak is a hyper-productive code cowboy -- linuxpower.org % The increasingly misnamed Zope Weekly News has come out with a new issue. Amusingly, it's dated December 6, but, since it covers things like the Zope 2.3.1 release, we're not buying that. -- LWN % Err, sorry for the misunderstanding, I was trying to make a joke. -- Martin Michlmayr % I haven't tested this yet, in the best traditions of Linux :-) -- Matthew Wilcox % oh, shit I just found non-free code in slrn -- #Debian % My 'use once, throw away' alarm is blaring loudly. -- Jason Gunthorpe % I spent years wondering why the Emacs key binds were so weird until I swapped by .uk keyboard for a real one! -- Paul Sladen % To a database person, every nail looks like a thumb. Or something like that." -- Jamie W. Zawinski % Is there a good reason why insmod should not call syslog() to log any module that gets installed? Simple: you'll have quite a bit of a problem if you are trying to insmod the module with support for AF_UNIX sockets. -- Seen on linux-kernel % Nobody uses floppies anymore, we should focus on the boot-cd, imho. -- Jan Nieuwenhuizen % Before you flame me, note that I am a GNU Emacs user. -- Eric Gillespie Jr. % Modal editors require greater abstraction skills. Emacs can be used without those skills. -- Ben Armstrong % You might try upgrading to a version of debconf that was released after man climbed down from the trees. -- Joey Hess % Wheeee, Perl you are such a bloody moron... -- CVS log of www.debian.org % Fixed various things, like a single sentence with two colons, seven commas, seven lines, and a pair of parenthesis :)) -- CVS log of www.debian.org % Joey: You have been referred to me as, "The Debian Dude that gets things done". -- Edward J.O'Connor % OPN is the most ridiculous splitty network I have ever had the misfortune to use. -- James Troup % Is that a stereotype about stereotypes? In which case... -- Keith G. Murphy % It's a rule of nature that every rule has an exception. -- advertising slogan from the 70's % Their is five errers in this sentance. -- Will Trillich % A group of developers has decided that XFree86 is never going to produce the graphics environment they want [..] -- Linux Weekly News % Trying to close an IWJ bug is like trying to raise the Titanic :) -- Ben Collins % tar: Archive contains future timestamp 1997-02-23 14:44:26 gonzo!joey(pts/0):/tmp/joey> date Sun Sep 9 16:35:50 CDT 1956 % Whee, it's nice to join in a middle of a netjoin. You get the feeling of making your way through a door along with a hundred other people. -- Josip Rodin % I like solving global problems rather than just local ones. -- Eric S. Raymond % Well, it's not *my* fault your automatic scripts broke 142 translated pages. -- Peter Karlsson % Geekdom is like the force. It can't be forced on someone. It must come naturally. -- James Treacy % #ifdef NOT_A_GODDAMN_YANK { 0x10, "Minimise Delay" }, #else { 0x10, "Minimize Delay" }, #endif /* ipchains.c */ % Log message: Spellling fix -- From debian-www-cvs % Joey: When a file says "automatically generated, do not edit" in big letters, why do you edit it? -- Craig Small % There is an article on Yahoo! about how Workers are mired in e-mail wasteland. They say employees waste an hour a day managing e-mail. -- /. - Buried in email? % OK, maybe gint and such are pointless, but they were going for completeness here :). I forgive them. -- Eric Gillespie, Jr. % * Yow! Major upstream weirdness. Do *not* try to print the documentation when building... Closes: #94660 -- t1lib 1.1.1-2 % A more accurate summary would be to say that this list is in hibernation, and a new wave of interest seems to come through here every month or two. -- Matt Zimmerman % I had seen GUI code in Perl, and it was a spiky mixture of Perl and Tcl that looked even uglier than my own pure-Perl code. -- Eric S. Raymond % Imagine 5 Joey clones in Debian. *phear* That would be the end of all commercial distributions ;) -- Torsten Landschoff % We need talent, not manpower! -- Daniel Jacobowitz % If we could offer some friendly advice to the Microsoft PR effort, we would suggest an approach such as 'We [Microsoft] welcome competition from the Open Source movement, and through that competition, customers will recognize the superiority of our [Microsoft's] solution.' Instead, they seem to be saying, 'we win when customers have no choices.' -- Ken Wasch, SIIA President % sb> Yes, of course. We are friends. You're not acting like one. Go away, and don't come back. -- Branden Robinson % I am tired of all these messages! Stop posting! - Some Body % Still, Chinese coming up kinda surprised me. (Though someone said it was Japanese -- all Greek to me.) -- Simon Rumble % For an extended, aka "long" description, that sucks rocks (through pipettes). -- Joey Hess % And it's not even particularly directed at you, it's aimed at any wannabe NMUers out there -- James Troup % With four coloured pens and numerous state diagrams, we overcame the mountain! -- Julian Gilbey % Believe it or not, there was once a time when that would have sounded ridiculous. -- Dennis E. Powell % Right now, it looks to the dispassionate observer that if Ximian is chasing Eazel anywhere, it's in the liquitation derby (with Caldera kindly agreeing to provide the pace car). -- Dennis E. Powell % * We used to try various strange things. Let's not. -- Seen in linux/fs/buffer.c % * Joey is not to pester! tbm, go away. * Joy notes Joey has entered a rejection mode :) go away everybody :) -- #Debian % * Joy notes Joey has entered a rejection mode :) go away everybody :) -- #Debian % So, a non-developer filed a non-bug against a non-package. -- Josip Rodin on #Debian % The only way that anyone can exert any influence over a Free Software project is by contributing to it. -- Miguel de Icaza % I've learned that it's not a good idea to try to put facts in the way of people's prejudices. It only upsets them. -- Branden Robinson % Getting corruption in 50MB proprietry format files, written by proprietry programs over a proprietry filesharing protocol sucks. -- Anthony Towns % We note a new triumph for Open Source and Free Software: we have become so serious a competitor to Microsoft that their executives publicly announce their fear. -- Bruce Perens % It's just like an overflow of information. I just skimmed it and my brain had a DoS. -- Josip Rodin % It's starting to sound more like a management bloodbath -- About Mandrake's fired CEO and more % The Yopy seems to be practically vaporware . . . vaporhardware -- Slashdot User #122744 % A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of -- Ogden Nash % * dark plays the "1 mbit, 2 mbit, 3 mbit clock" song. -- #Debian % Those who do not study LISP are doomed to reimplement it. Poorly. -- Karl M. Hegbloom % This is like sending a `launch commit' message to a nuclear missile -- GCC 3.0 release announcement % At what point do you return from vacation? Ah, lemme back up. Sanity check: you /do/ return from vacation, right? :-) -- Phil Edwards % Nextra, where the packets can sleep 10secs before they have to go. -- Janos Lenart % Yes, we'll get a clobbered value, but we'll get a _valid_ clobbered value, -- Linus Torvalds % /*---. | ? | `---*/ -- Source of GNU tar % Swapped paragraphs about talks due to Joey suffering from sleep deprivation. -- Josip Rodin in CVS log % $sorted_langs{$trans{$langs{$_}}{$_}} = $_; -- www.debian.org % Note to self: don't borrow from Swedish if you can't remember to modify the spelling of _all_ the words. -- Danish translator of www.debian.org % My mother loved children. She would have given anything if I had been one. -- Groucho Marx % Linux is a cancer that attaches itself in an intellectual property sense to everything it touches. -- Steve Ballmer, Microsoft % Yeah! One day I'll be a Makefile guru. -- Martin 'Joey' Schulze % dpkg is bad for your health, that's what geek mothers always say -- Josip Rodin % Government funding should be for work that is available to everybody. Open source is not available to commercial companies. -- Steve Ballmer, Microsoft % Joey: great minds think alike ;) -- #Debian % $tv->stop_hacking('jpilot'); no lights; no music; push @futon, $tv; $brain = pop @tv; chomp $brain; -- #Debian % Debian today announced that they have 100K bugs in their system but no longer have any idea what they are. -- Ean R. Schuessler % This package contains the SDL-version of the Abuse game engine. It requires a mouse. -- Description for abuse-sdl % Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool. -- Wichert Akkerman % Sinclair: "No boom?" Garibaldi: "No boom." Ivanova: "No boom today. Boom tomorrow. Always a boom tomorrow." % Features: The Return of Microsoft -- Slashdot % The rise and rise of Linux -- VNUnet % apt is a Debian native package that everyone thinks they know how to do better; it attracts insane wishlist bugs like it attracts shit to flies. -- James Troup % Joey: are you simply the cabal? :P -- #Debian % It is a difference between knowing the path and going the path. -- The Matrix % Follow the white rabbit. -- The Matrix % There is no spoon. -- The Matrix % GUARD THE MONITOR BOX WITH YOUR LIFE. DO NOT LEAVE IT ON THE SHOW FLOOR. -- Branden Robinson after an exhibition % "640kB ought to be enough" --Bill G., 1984 "The Internet is not a primary goal for PC usage" --Bill G., 1995 "Linux has no impact on Microsoft's strategy" --Bill G., 1999 % Since it is a list with two points, mark it up